


Delicate

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Homophobia, I tagged this as rape non-con because of Junsu's past, Internalized Homophobia, Junsu has lots of issues, Junsu was someone sexual pet in the past, M/M, Master/Pet, Masturbation, Orgasm Control, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Pedophilia, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Slavery, Sharing a Bed, Yoochun is poor, Yoochun works in a bar, but the effects are very real to this Junsu, learning new things, past Yoochun/Jaejoong, there is no actual rape or non-con in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23815057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Yoochun's eccentric uncle passes away and leaves Yoochun his pet and money to take care of it. But the pet isn't anything Yoochun is expecting, and suddenly he has to figure out how to help someone else while his own life is a fucking mess.
Relationships: Kim Junsu (JYJ)/Park Yoochun
Kudos: 5





	1. Lace

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

**Warning: implied abuse, slavery, and pedophilia. Both Yoochun and Junsu are 27 when this fic starts**

Early morning sunlight penetrated the blanket Yoochun pinned over the windows in his studio, dimming the space, but making it difficult to sleep. He was used to it. Mostly. But it was the random noises that woke him up more often than not. A car alarm. A siren. His neighbors fucking against the wall. His other neighbor beating the shit out of his girlfriend.

Today it was his cell phone. Chirping some annoyingly bright happy ringtone that he desperately needed to change.

Why hadn’t he put the damn thing on silent?

With his eyes unwilling to open, he reached to the bedside table. He knocked the phone to the floor, and it happily started ringing again.

Yoochun sacrificed a pillow to the floor to cover the phone up. It dimmed the noise enough that he was able to sleep well into the afternoon. The next time he woke up it was to his neighbor calling his girlfriend an ungrateful, lazy cunt.

He forgot about the early morning phone calls until he had showered, had his first cigarette and was sucking down a weak cup of coffee.

There were seven missed calls and five texts from his mother.

_Your uncle left you some things in his will.  
His lawyer is trying to get ahold of you.  
Why aren’t you answering your phone at a time like this?  
I know you haven’t been around family a lot, but you need to be when there is a death.  
Call the lawyer back when you wake up, it is important._

Yoochun erased them without replying to them. His mother hadn’t spoken to him in more than a year, and only called last week to tell him that his uncle, her brother, had a heart attack. Yoochun didn’t care. His entire family had told him to fuck off more or less when he came out.

The lawyer had called only once, leaving him a message with his name and a phone number to reach him at before six.

It was a few minutes to, so Yoochun called him back. The voice on the other end of the line was brisk, no-nonsense, and when Yoochun introduced himself, he told Yoochun to go to his uncle’s estate to pick up his pet.

“Wait, pet?”

“Yes, his pet. In his will it says that you are the only one in the family that will be able to take care of him properly.”

Yoochun looked around his tiny studio apartment. He had a mattress, a couch, and a small bookshelf.

“I don’t have space for a pet, are you kidding me?”

“There isn’t anyone else,” the lawyer stressed. “It will be put down if you don’t.”

Yoochun shut his eyes. He could barely afford to feed himself.

“There is a small monthly stipend that will be transferred to your bank account from your uncle’s main trust for its care.”

Yoochun wavered. Money. He definitely needed money. He could give the pet up for adoption later. Keep the money. “How much?”

“Seven hundred thousand won.”

Yoochun felt like he had a heart attack and air rushed through his brain. Definitely worth it, considering Yoochun was lucky to make that much in two weeks.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there.”

“Eight am. This is the last thing I have to worry about,” the lawyer said and hung up.

Yoochun sighed and wondered what he would need to buy to keep a dog. Or was it a cat? Hell, he hadn’t even asked. It could be a tarantula or a snake for all he knew. What kind of a pet needed that much money?

Yoochun was going to call the lawyer back and ask, but it didn’t actually matter. He was going to get rid of the thing as soon as he could.

\---

Yoochun was about to fall asleep when the cab driver stopped in front of his uncle’s estate. He hadn’t been there since he was twelve. His uncle was a recluse and even more ostracized than Yoochun was. But his uncle was rich. He didn’t need anyone else.

A black car sat in the driveway, the engine running. A man climbed out as soon as Yoochun exited the cab.

“Wait for me,” Yoochun requested.

The cab driver nodded.

“Park Yoochun-shi?” the man said.

Yoochun nodded. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Good. I was thinking you were going to back out.”

“Yeah, well. Money.”

The man smirked. “I knew that would get you here.” He pulled out a bunch of papers. “These are the details of your uncle’s estate. You don’t need to worry about any of it except for the pages I have marked. I need you to sign them, read the relevant sections if you feel you need to, and then give me your banking information so I can transfer the first payments into your account.”

“Today?”

“Yes.”

Fuck. Yoochun could pay his phone bill early. He quickly moved to the car and used the top of it to sign the papers. Four signatures and that was it. He did learn while skimming the pages that the pet’s name was Xiah. But nothing about what kind of animal it was.

The lawyer shut everything into his briefcase and said, “The doors are unlocked. You’ll find Xiah in the master bathroom. It’s where he feels most comfortable.”

“Um, okay, what ... what kind of pet is he?”

The lawyer smirked. “You’ll find out. He’s no longer my concern.” He climbed into his car and drove away. Yoochun watched, stunned, and realized the man hadn’t even introduced himself.

With a sigh, Yoochun turned to the house. The sloping stairway led to an elaborate wire and glass door with a claw handle. He turned it and entered the cool house. The ceiling sloped upwards with windows throwing light on a grand staircase. He wondered where the master bedroom was.

“Hello?”

His voice echoed through the empty house.

“Xiah?” he tried to call.

Nothing.

He headed up the stairs, skipping the second floor that looks like normal bedrooms. On the top floor, there was a set of French doors. He went through them and entered an elaborate sitting room. Windows bathed everything in light. To the left was a sleeping room with a four-post bed complete with a canopy, raised to separate it from the rest. To the right were two doors, and an opening. Yoochun could see the swirls of marble and went that way.

He took a step into the room and stopped in shock. Sitting on the floor, back pressed against the cool marble was a person. He noted first the pink hair, white shirt, plaid pants. And then the bare feet. The strong arms. Veins on his skin. Young, probably barely twenty. And then the lace cloth over his eyes.

“Um, hi,” Yoochun said. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to be here. I’m looking for Xiah.”

The head turned and a tongue lapped over pink lips. And then he smiled and shifted.

“Do you know where Xiah is?”

He moved to his knees, head bowed, and put his hands behind his back.

Yoochun staggered back, hand against the cool marble wall. Breath short. This ... this ...

“You’re Xiah?”

The man smiled again and bowed a little lower.

“Fucking hell. What the fuck?” He fumbled for his phone and could barely see enough to find the number of the lawyer.

The lawyer did not answer.

“Is this some kind of sick joke?” Yoochun demanded as a message. “Xiah is a person. Not a fucking pet. Are you fucking kidding?” He hung up with an aggravated noise and glanced down at the kneeling man.

He had his lower lip between his teeth, and he was shaking. Just a little.

His phone beeped with a text message. From the lawyer.

**_I don’t know what you’re talking about._ **

Yoochun replied: **FUCK YOU! Xiah is a person!**

**_Xiah is a pet. And your uncle was a sick fuck, not me. You don’t want him, leave him there, but he will be turned out of that house tomorrow, and left on his own._ **

**Then so be it. I am not ... this is ridiculous.** Yoochun spun around and walked back through the massive bedroom.

**_And there goes the extra money every month._ **

“Fuck,” Yoochun muttered, and then screamed it. He almost threw his phone across the room, but stopped himself. He could not afford to buy a new one. He looked back toward the bedroom.

What would happen to him if he just left? He survived without that extra money. He still could.

But Xiah ...

Yoochun walked unsteadily to the bathroom. Xiah was on the floor, curled up in a ball, shivering but not crying.

Yoochun stared at him and then very slowly sat next to him. “Hey.”

Xiah scrambled up to his knees again and bowed. The lace around his eyes was wet. So he had been crying.

Yoochun sighed. “Look, uh, Xiah. I have ... this is weird. I don’t know what ... My uncle is a sick fuck. I just ... I guess you’re coming with me.”

Xiah bit his lip and his breath hitched.

“Can you talk?”

Slowly, Xiah nodded.

“What’s your name? Your real name?” Yoochun amended quickly.

His face twisted like he was in pain. Or fighting with himself. Yoochun waited.

“J-Junsu,” he finally whispered.

Yoochun nodded. “Okay. Junsu. That is much better than some pet name. Do you know how old you are?”

Junsu shook his head.

“Do you know when you were born?”

“Eighty six. December.”

Yoochun stared at him for a long time, trying to process that they were the same age, though Yoochun was a few months older. “And ... uh, how long have you ... lived ... with my uncle?”

Junsu did not answer for a few long moments. He froze, face hardening. “I was ten.”

“Wow. My uncle is a sick fuck.”

Yoochun caught Junsu’s lips twitching. “You can take that blindfold off, you know.”

Junsu did not move and then shook his head. “I cannot.”

“Why not?”

“Only you can allow me to look at things.”

“What?”

“You have to take it off ... master.”

“Don’t fucking call me that. I am not your master. My name is Yoochun. And take it off, right now.”

Junsu bit his lip again.

“I am not your fucking master,” Yoochun said again. “I was told you were a pet, an animal, something I had to take care of. Not that you were a person. I am not your master. I am not in control of you. Take it off.”

Junsu’s hands were shaking as he lifted his arm and very slowly pulled the soft cloth off. It hung around his neck, and he kept his eyes closed for a few deep breaths and then opened them, looking at Yoochun.

Yoochun almost expected him to have red eyes, or empty eye sockets, or something gross and mutilated to warrant the blindfold. But Junsu had very pretty eyes, round, deep brown, long lashes.

“Much better. Look, Junsu, I ... I don’t ... if you were a dog or a cat, I’d be dropping you off at the pound right now, but if you’ve been here since you were ten ... did you go to school at all?”

“B-before?” Junsu whispered, head lowered. “I think.”

“You think?”

“I ...” Junsu bit his lip. “My family was poor. I can’t remember.”

Yoochun sighed and looked around the opulent bathroom. “I know what that is like. This bathroom is about the size of my apartment. You won’t be living in luxury anymore, but it’s better than living in the street.”

Junsu smiled awkwardly.

With one more sigh, Yoochun stood up. “Well, let’s go. Do you have any clothes or things you need to take with you?”

Junsu bit his lips and shook his head. “I have nothing and only belong to my master.”

Yoochun blinked at him for a moment. “Come on then. This cab fare is going to be huge.”

Yoochun turned around and headed out of the bathroom. He took a few steps and turned to make sure that Junsu was following. He stopped short, seeing Junsu on his hands and knees. “Hell, no. Get on your feet and walk. I am not your master.”

Junsu looked up at him and frowned. “Walk?”

“Yes, walk, on two feet. Don’t fucking crawl.”

Junsu chewed on his lower lip, but eventually, he reached for the closest thing (the wall) and stood up, steadying himself.

Yoochun spun back around and walked through the house, hearing Junsu behind him. He stalked out the front door and was glad the cab driver hadn’t left. Halfway down the driveway he looked behind him again. Junsu was still near the door, wincing with every step.

Right, he didn’t have shoes. And the ground was rough on soft feet like Junsu’s.

Yoochun went back to him and swallowed an apology. “Here,” he said, giving Junsu his back. “Put your arms around my neck. I’ll carry you.”

A few seconds later, Junsu did, arms shaking. Yoochun reached behind him and hefted him up into a piggyback. He had to wait and shift Junsu’s weight before taking a tentative step to make sure he could get there. Junsu wasn’t exactly heavy, but Yoochun was glad he didn’t have to cart him too far.

“Thank you,” Junsu whispered, lips against Yoochun’s ear.

Yoochun fought off a shiver.

He set Junsu down and opened the back door. The cab driver was looking at him funny. Yoochun didn’t blame him. He had told the cab driver he had to pick up a pet.

“Don’t ask,” Yoochun said as he climbed in beside Junsu. “Take me back to where you picked me up.”

The driver stared at him for a moment longer and then faced front and put the car into drive. Junsu stayed plastered next to him, eyes wide as he glanced around the city. At one point, the cab driver had to slam on his breaks, and Junsu yelped and practically buried his face in Yoochun’s shoulder. Yoochun rolled his eyes, but lifted his arm and settled it over the other’s back. Junsu stayed like that, face pressed against his chest, fingers digging into his stomach, for the rest of the drive.

Yoochun shifted to get out his wallet and he paid the driver an appropriate amount and said thank you. The driver was still looking at him funny, so Yoochun hurried up, and once again had Junsu curled over his back, his thighs in Yoochun’s hand. He only carried him as far as the landing. There was no way he could carry Junsu up the stairs.

“Come on,” Yoochun said, putting him down. He started walking up, and Junsu clung to his arm. Yoochun sighed and held out his hand and Junsu gripped it thankfully. “This is where I live, on the sixth floor. I’ll get a key made for you and everything, so you can come and go as you want.”

“Go? Like ... leave? Outside?”

“Um, yeah.” Yoochun glanced at him. Junsu was biting his lip. “You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to, but you’re going to need to eventually. You can’t stay cooped up in my studio for the rest of your life.”

Yoochun let go of his hand, and Junsu moved close to him to hold onto his shirt, practically pressed to his back. Yoochun fumbled with his key, but opened the lock, and led Junsu inside. It was dim, the morning light obscured by the blankets. It wasn’t much, but it was home. For now. Until he could move into a larger place. There were only two windows on the wall across from the door. The kitchen was to the right, with only a sink, a small fridge, and a cooktop. His twin bed was in the corner on the left, with his small dresser next to it. His two-seater couch was almost blocking the door. The bathroom was through a small door next to the kitchen.

Yoochun went to his dresser and pulled out a cigarette from the pack. He lit it and sucked down a much needed drag. He turned and leaned against the dresser.

Junsu was still by the door, hands in fists at his sides, looking around the small space.

“It’s luxurious, isn’t it?”

Junsu sort of smiled. “S-sorry. I ... I don’t ...”

Yoochun shook his head. “I’m incredibly poor, Junsu. And honestly, the only reason why I agreed to take care of my uncle’s pet is because his estates is giving me a shit ton of money every month to do so.”

Junsu looked down and bit his lip.

Yoochun finished his cigarette in silence. Well, relative silence. The neighbor was calling his girlfriend a lazy cunt and something shattered against the wall.

“So here is what goes on in my life. I work a night shift at a bar, I usually start at nine. I sleep during the day, and I should have already been asleep for hours. So I’m going to go to sleep. You can get something to eat if you want, go sit on the couch. I don’t even know. Do whatever the hell you want. We’ll figure more shit out when I can process the fucking fact that my uncle had a fucking human being as a fucking sex slave.”

Junsu rubbed his arms, still staring at the floor.

Yoochun stubbed out his cigarette, and uncaring of the audience, because fucking hell, how the fuck was he supposed to live with someone, he stripped down to his boxers, only leaving them on because of Junsu. He climbed into his bed, kept his back turned and tried to relax. But he was overtly aware of Junsu watching him and then moving. He heard movement on his couch.

It took a very long time for Yoochun to fall asleep.

He woke up, not to the annoying beeping of his alarm, but to a soft voice and a hand shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes, saw someone leaning over him, and shot up with a shout, hooking his arm around and catching the intruder in the jaw with his fist. The guy went down and Yoochun gasped, remembered Junsu and swore, clambering out of bed quickly.

“Fuck, sorry, Junsu,” Yoochun said, kneeling next to him.

Junsu was curled in a ball, shaking.

“Fuck, hey, come here. I’m sorry.” Yoochun managed to uncurl him and look at his face. Nothing was bleeding but his cheek was swollen with a red spot on his jaw. He was crying.

“I’m sorry,” Yoochun said again, touching the other cheek softly. “You startled me. I forgot for a moment.”

Junsu bit his lip. “You ... you didn’t set your alarm.”

Yoochun’s head shot up and he saw that it was after seven already. “Fucking hell.” He looked down at Junsu. “Again, I’m sorry. Thank you. I need to get in the shower.”

Junsu smiled. Or tried to. He winced.

“There’s some ice in the freezer. Put some on your cheek so it doesn’t swell too much.”

Junsu nodded.

Yoochun smiled at him and then stood up. He held out a hand and pulled Junsu to his feet. Junsu swayed into him, eyes shutting.

“You okay?”

Junsu nodded.

“Good. Thanks again, for waking me up.”

Yoochun showered and dressed for work faster than he ever had before. He remembered just soon enough to shout a goodbye to Junsu and then left, hoping he didn’t miss the last train to his work.


	2. Laughter

Friday nights always exhausted Yoochun. Today was worse; Yoochun could not keep his attention on his customers. He thought of Junsu and how he was going to live with another person. He also forgot that he had told his coworkers that his uncle had left him a pet, so he made up a story about getting there just to find a dog that ended up running off as soon as they were outside.

He did not ignore drunken offers to kiss half-sloshed pretty boys like he usually did, and he accepted more drinks than he should have and even managed to get a 50,000 won note tucked into his pants after letting a really drunk ajusshi grope him and rub up against him. He told his coworkers he was fine and he staggered home, mostly drunk, completely confused about why everything was pink and pretty and swirling around his head in soft smiles and lace. Everything at his fingertips felt like lace.

Yoochun woke up slightly sober, curled up against a brick wall.

It was dark and chilly, and he cursed, checking to make sure he still had his phone and wallet. He was lucky. He stood and his liquid-fried brain sloshed in his head. He shut his eyes and swayed into the wall. He managed a few steps, paused to throw up, and then continued on his way, using walls and lamp posts to keep himself steady.

The apartment was blessedly dark, and Yoochun collapsed on his bed to sleep. He woke up in the morning only from the incessant tug to piss from his bladder. It was almost ten, and Yoochun cursed, hoping he’d fall back to sleep. When he came out of the bathroom, he stopped at the head sticking up above the back of his couch. A face.

Right. Junsu.

Yoochun rubbed his face with his hands. “Right,” he muttered out loud.

Before Yoochun could say anything else, a low rumble echoed around the room. He narrowed his eyes at Junsu. “Did you eat?”

Junsu shook his head.

“Why not?”

“I ... you ...” Junsu bit his lip and looked down. “I need permission.”

“Oh fucking hell, no you don’t!” Yoochun yelled.

Junsu jumped and his head disappeared.

Yoochun shut his eyes with a sigh. “I am too fucking hungover for this,” he muttered and walked around the couch. Junsu was curled up on the couch, shaking.

“You don’t need my permission for anything,” Yoochun said softly. He sat down on the couch, reached to touch Junsu, and then stopped, putting his hand on his knee instead. “You can eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, watch TV, and hell, jerk off whenever you want. You can do whatever you want without me telling you to, okay?”

Junsu nodded. “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. This is probably weird and confusing for you, and I should be aware of that. Are you hungry? Stupid question.”

Junsu smiled, but hid his face against his knee.

“Do you know how to cook?”

Junsu shook his head. “I ... I ate what was given to me.”

“Okay, then I’ll call for take out. What do you want to eat?”

“Anything you want, mast ... mast ... Yoochun.”

Yoochun took a deep breath of control before saying, “I’m not going to eat anything right now. I’m still half drunk. So you choose.”

Junsu shifted and sat up, legs curled up, arms around his knees. “I ... I can’t. I ... I don’t know what ... I don’t know what things are called.”

“Okay, I’ll just order something and you’ll tell me if you like it or not.”

Junsu nodded. “Okay.”

Yoochun called the small shop down the street that knew his order before he had to ask. Though this time he surprised them and ordered a hangover soup and a kimchi jjigae for Junsu. In the few minutes that it took for the food to arrive, Yoochun showed Junsu how to turn on the TV and told him to sleep whenever he wanted, and to write down all the things he wanted that he saw on TV.

“Wait, do you know how to read and write?” Yoochun asked.

Junsu shook his head.

“Fuck, okay. Then we’ll start there.”

Yoochun actually started with the arrival of the food. He gave Junsu the money and told him to go pay for it.

The delivery guy looked in at Yoochun, confused, but Yoochun said nothing. Junsu was very polite and said thank you and bowed at the man. After the door shut, and Junsu came back with their food, the smile on his face was so bright.

“Perfect,” Yoochun muttered, and then hastily added, “that was perfect.” Yoochun only had TV trays to eat on, he was lucky he even had two of those, and he had Junsu grab them and move them to the couch. Junsu watched Yoochun take out his food and then did the same, though he froze when it actually came to eating.

Yoochun took a few spoonfuls of the hot soup before looking over at Junsu. “What now? Do I have to feed you, too?”

Junsu shook his head.

“Then eat.”

“S-sorry. Just ...” He grabbed the plastic spoon that had come with his food and took a small swallow of the spicy soup. After a few bites, he said, “Master fed me from his fingers.”

“I will definitely not be doing that.”

Junsu nodded and his chest hitched, and Yoochun sighed when he saw a tear drip down Junsu’s cheek.

“Sorry,” Yoochun said. “I ... I’m not ...”

“Don’t apologize,” Junsu said softly. “I’m ... I just have to get used to ... doing things myself.”

“You will,” Yoochun said. “I’ll help you. I’m sorry if I lose patience with you. I’m not sure how ... to deal with this. What my uncle did to you was wrong.”

Junsu bit his lip again.

“What?”

Junsu shook his head. “Nothing.”

“Lie. Tell me.”

Junsu squirmed and again brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them. “He ... Master ... your uncle was very nice to me, despite what you may think. He did not hit me or abuse me, and only spanked me when I did something wrong, and then he ...”

Yoochun snorted. “He kept you as a pet, as a slave, and you’re a fucking human being.”

Junsu nodded, but Yoochun knew that Junsu was not convinced. He glared at his soup and took a few more bites.

“I am going back to bed,” Yoochun announced. “You can do what you want, okay? You can take a shower, you can go to the bathroom, you can change your clothes. My clothes should fit you. You can watch TV if you keep the volume low. You can masturbate, just again, keep the volume low. You can walk out that door and never come back if you want. Okay?”

Junsu nodded. “Okay.”

Yoochun stood up and went back to bed. It wasn’t until he crawled under the covers that he realized he had that entire conversation in his boxers and he’d been walking around in nothing but his boxers. He grumbled quietly to himself, felt his cheeks heat up, and turned to the side, away from the rest of the room. Away from Junsu.

Yoochun woke up to the neighbors fucking. He groaned, trying to tune out the sounds of the girl begging and crying for Daddy. It was only a half hour before his alarm went off.

“Fucking hell.”

“They’re really loud.”

Yoochun jerked in surprise, sitting up and blinking rapidly. Right, Junsu. Yoochun moaned and rubbed his face, falling back into bed. The girl screamed from the other side of the wall.

“One begs to be hit harder, the other begs to be left alone.”

“They’re both crazy.”

Junsu laughed, high and wild, and it made Yoochun smile. He sat back up. Junsu was sitting on the couch, once again with his knees curled up to his chest and arms around his knees. “Did you sleep?”

“A little. I’m ... I’m used to sleeping at night.”

“You can,” Yoochun said and stood up. “You can even sleep in my bed when I’m at work.”

Junsu smiled but at his knees.

“And you’re still wearing those clothes? Honestly, you can shower and change and wear my clothes, okay?”

Junsu nodded.

Yoochun lit a cigarette and went to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He wondered if Junsu wanted some, but decided not to brew extra. It was better if he slept, and Junsu probably hadn’t had coffee before.

“Do you want a bowl of cereal?” Yoochun asked instead.

“Yes, please.”

Yoochun took the two bowls from the cupboard he owned. He poured some generic cereal into both and added a little milk. He turned around and leaned against the counter to eat. Junsu looked over at him and then slowly stood up and joined him, mirroring his position. After the first spoonful, he smiled widely and ate faster.

“You like that?”

He nodded. “It’s good. Sweet.”

“And cheap.”

Yoochun finished his bowl just as the coffee finished brewing. He poured it black into his cup and took that first perfect sip.

“What’s it taste like?”

Yoochun offered him the cup. “Be careful. It’s hot.”

Junsu did take a small sip and made a face and stuck out his tongue.

Yoochun chuckled. “That’s why most people drink it with cream and sugar.”

“Why don’t you?”

“I never have. I guess I’m just used to it. I like the flavor.” He picked up his burning cigarette for a drag, and Junsu leaned away from it.

“You don’t like that flavor do you?”

Yoochun smiled. “Nope. This is just an addiction.”

“They stink.”

Yoochun frowned, and Junsu dropped his eyes and apologized softly. Yoochun doused the cigarette in an ashtray.

“I didn’t mean to be critical, mast-Yoochun.”

“No, you’re right. They do stink. I’m going to take a shower.” Yoochun slipped around him and went to the bathroom to get ready for his day. When he emerged clean and mostly human, he hadn’t necessarily forgotten that he had a roommate, but he was so used to walking out of the bathroom naked that he didn’t even notice until he met Junsu’s eyes, eyes that did not stay on his face for long and slowly dropped to the rest of his body. Yoochun cursed and lowered the towel to cover his bottom half. Junsu meeped and spun around.

“Sorry,” Yoochun said and hurried to his dresser.. “God, I need to get used to sharing space.” His foot got caught on his boxers and he cursed again and ended up falling onto the bed with one leg twisted up and the boxers in a twist around his ankle.

Junsu laughed.

And Yoochun mentally cursed his life, collapsed on the bed and just lay there, listening to Junsu laugh. And then he started laughing too.

He looked over at Junsu, who was watching him, covering his mouth, trying to control his laughter. Yoochun sat up and finished pulling on the boxers.

“You have a tattoo,” Junsu said.

Yoochun winced and sighed. “Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“It ... it says ‘mate’ in English.”

“Why?”

Yoochun’s chest tightened with pain that he had thought he had finally forgotten. “I’d rather not talk about it.” He pulled out a pair of jeans violently from his dresser.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Fuck, you apologize a lot.” He squirmed his way into his jeans.

“I have to.”

“So you don’t get in trouble?” Yoochun pulled a tank top over his head and looked over at him.

Junsu bit his lip and then he nodded. “Sorry. Um, sorry. Um ...”

Yoochun chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. Just stop. Okay?”

Junsu nodded. “I’ll try.”

Yoochun finished dressing with a tight black button down over the tank top. He went into the bathroom and finished getting ready for work. He ran his fingers through his hair and quickly yanked it back. He needed a haircut. He let the long lengths fall around his face again. He huffed in annoyance.

When he left the bedroom, Junsu was on the couch, curled up, eyes shut.

Yoochun smiled and then touched his shoulder. “Hey, seriously, you can sleep on the bed.”

Junsu smiled up at him and shook his head. “I ... I don’t want to be on a separate schedule from you. I don’t want to disturb you when you’re sleeping.”

Yoochun was going to tell him that it was okay, but he was sure Junsu would only apologize again. Instead, he smiled and said, “That’s probably a good idea. Then we can sleep together.”

Junsu’s eyes went wide.

“Oh ... um, not together, not ... but sleep ... at the same time. Fuck.”

Junsu laughed and reached up to grab Yoochun’s arms. “Yes, let’s sleep together. At the same time.”

Yoochun smiled, and he reached over and ruffled that pink hair. “Punk. I’ll see you later.”

“Have a good day at work, Yoochun-shi.”

Yoochun nodded and left with a smile on his face. It felt really good to smile. His coworkers made a few jibes about his good mood, that he must have found someone to fuck away his bad mood from the night before. He took everything in good humor, and could not stop smiling. He didn’t let nearly as many drunk men kiss and touch him, but managed to go home with more tips than the night before. He arrived home, sober and in tact, at about four in the morning.

The neighbors were quiet. The blanket from one window lay in folds, hanging from only a few pins. Light from the city brightened the apartment enough for him to see his way.

Junsu lay at the end of his bed, curled up, asleep with one arm under his head. His pink hair was spread over the mattress, the light showing the color. Yoochun wondered if Junsu would want to dye it. He noticed that Junsu had put on one of his long sleeved shirts. Yoochun was glad that he had done that and taken the blanket down, showing a bit more of his ability to do things on his own.

Yoochun watched him for a moment. Everything about Junsu was so very delicate. His hair, his lips, his skin, his eyes, his hands, his feet.

It came from a pampered life that Yoochun knew he could not afford. Sooner or later, Junsu was going to leave him, become part of the world. Yoochun wished he could stop that. As fucked up as what his uncle did was, maybe part of it was good. Maybe. Keeping Junsu away from the pain and fuckery of real life.

The world was a fucked up place too, and real life sucked. At least for Yoochun.

He slipped out of his jeans and shirt, and into a pair of sweatpants.

The bed moved.

“Hm, master.”

Yoochun froze and looked over at Junsu. “What?”

Junsu frowned and his eyes opened slowly. He met Yoochun’s gaze and then he glanced away. “S-sorr ... so ... sorry.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Junsu sat up and frowned, and then turned wide eyes to the window. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I was ...” He stood up and attempted to put the blanket over the window again. “I was ... just wanted to see--”

Yoochun stopped his hands and said, “Leave it. It’s fine. I have them up to block the sun during the day.”

“I was going to put them back before you got home and I was ... I’m sorry.”

Yoochun gripped his shoulders. “Junsu, calm down. It’s fine. And what did I say about apologizing for everything?”

Junsu bit his lip.

Yoochun smiled. “I’m going to order some food and watch TV for a bit. Are you hungry?”

Junsu nodded. “Yes.”

“Didn’t you eat while I was gone?”

“I ... I fell asleep before ... right after ... the sun set. I ... I’m sorry.”

Yoochun shut his eyes in slight annoyance and then used the grip on Junsu’s shoulders to pull him to the couch. He pushed Junsu to the couch and sat next to him. He pulled out his phone and called for food, this time ordering his usual tteokbokki. He had Junsu pay the delivery guy again and they sat and ate and watched TV. After awhile, Yoochun looked over at Junsu; he was asleep again.

Yoochun got up carefully. He finished unpinning the blanket from the window and laid it over Junsu. He stared out over the city and smoked a cigarette before going to bed. He woke up when his alarm went off. The room was dark again, the blanket back in place. It was such a small thing, so considerate. It made Yoochun smile.

Yoochun had been smiling a lot lately. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. It wasn’t even six.

Junsu stood in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water. His clothes were different again (sweats and one of Yoochun’s t-shirts).

Yoochun reached for a cigarette, but he remembered about the smell. He stood up and unpinned enough of the blanket to open the window. He sat on the end of the bed and lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke out the window. He looked back into the kitchen to see Junsu watching him.

“Hi.”

Junsu blushed and looked down, rubbing his arms. “Hi.”

“Did you sleep well?”

He shrugged. “Yeah. Still a bit tired.”

“Me, too.” Yoochun took a few more drags in the silence. “I don’t have to work today,” he finally continued. “I figure we can go spend some of this money that my uncle has left you and go buy you some things.”

“Oh, um ...”

Yoochun glanced over at him. He was rubbing his arm even faster.

“You don’t want to?”

Junsu bit his lip, worrying it and not looking up from the floor. “I don’t know. I ... I haven’t been outside in seventeen years.”

Yoochun stood up. “I’m not going to force you to come with me, but you can, if you want. If you want to stay here, you can stay here. Okay?”

Junsu nodded.

“Think about it. I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Do ... do you want coffee? I can make it for you?”

Yoochun thought about that and said, “Do you want to make me coffee, or are you making it because you think you should and that you have to?”

Junsu bit his lip again.

“I’ll make it when I’m done with my shower,” Yoochun said.

“Okay,” Junsu whispered, weakly. Chest hitching.

Yoochun hurried into the bathroom. When he was through with his shower, he remembered to keep the towel around his waist, but then got to the dresser and had to drop it to get on some boxers. He waited until he had on a pair of slightly loose fitting jeans, holes up one leg, before turning to Junsu. He was still in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen.

“Well?”

Junsu shut his eyes and leaned his head back. “I ... I don’t know. I ...” He looked at Yoochun. “Tell me to come with you.”

Yoochun smiled. “I can’t do that, Junsu. It’s your decision.”

“I know, but I ... want to go, but it’s ... it’s ... I haven’t been ... never outside, and only ...” Junsu broke off with a growl and rubbed his face.

Yoochun understood, but said, “If you want to come with me, then you’re coming with me.” He dug into his jean drawer and found a pair of black jeans that he rarely wore anymore. He moved over to Junsu and held them out. “Here, put these on, and then we’ll go out. You need shoes and some food, and clothes.”

Cautiously, Junsu took them. He met Yoochun’s eyes, his own look a bit wild and afraid.

“I won’t leave you alone out there,” Yoochun whispered and touched his shoulder. Junsu leaned into the contact. “I’ll be right next to you, and if you’re uncomfortable at all, we’ll come right back home. Okay?”

Junsu nodded and hurried past him into the bathroom.


	3. Clothes

Yoochun paced back and forth in the small space behind his couch. He cursed mentally and out loud a few times too. He listened to the shower run as he stared at the balance in his bank account. His brain warred with his heart and his guilt, but guilt didn’t pay the bills. And it wasn’t like he was planning on ditching Junsu anymore and just using the money anyway, right?

That made it better, right?

Yoochun sighed. It was a horrible rationalization, but Yoochun still used the extra money to pay his phone bill and his Internet bill. The laptop in its case could be used again. He could show Junsu how to use it so he wasn’t bored while Yoochun was at work.

That still didn’t make it better, or lessen the guilt. It technically wasn’t his money. Even if he was going to be taking care of Junsu.

Yoochun sat hard on his bed and put his face in his hands to muffle his scream of frustration. He sat there until the water stopped running in the shower and he hastily stood up, still feeling guilty but having nothing to hide and nothing to chase it away.

When Junsu came out of the bathroom, Yoochun’s mouth went dry. The black jeans were molded tight to his body, showing off surprisingly strong thighs and the curve of a ass that almost had Yoochun whimpering. The shirt fit him well, showing off broad shoulders and a slim waist.

And Yoochun knew he hadn’t given Junsu any boxers to put on, so he probably wasn’t wearing any. Yoochun swallowed.

Junsu shifted, tugging at the shirt. “Clothes still feel weird.”

Yoochun blinked, his helpful mind imagining Junsu naked, and he looked away. “What?”

“Clothes. Up until last week, I never wore clothes.”

Yoochun’s mouth moved before his brain could shut it up, and he said, “I’m not sure I’d mind you naked all the time.”

Junsu frowned, bit his lip and looked away.

“Sorry,” Yoochun said hastily. “Sorry. Fuck. Just ... you’re gorgeous, you know?”

Junsu met his eyes. “You think I’m attractive?”

“Um, yeah. Sexy enough. I mean. It’s just ... you’re cute, and you have a nice ass ... and fuck. Sorry. I’m going to shut up.”

Junsu smiled tightly and turned away.

“I’ve completely offended you now,” Yoochun said. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s just ...” Junsu looked up and blinked rapidly, like he was trying not to cry.

Yoochun took a step toward him in concern and then stopped.

“It’s okay,” Junsu said. “I’m ... I’m not used to hearing ...” He took a very deep breath. “I’m used to hearing that I was attractive enough to fuck and touch and play with, but it was a good thing I never went outside.”

“Fuck, Su-ah,” Yoochun growled, not even thinking of the endearment, but it made the other smile. “I thought you said my uncle was good to you?”

“He was,” Junsu said, and then hugged himself. “In most things.”

Yoochun opened his mouth to say that emotional manipulation was not being good and then shut it. Junsu would learn. Eventually.

“Well, come on. You’ll see how gorgeous you are by how many people stop and stare.”

Junsu smiled and then frowned. “You won’t leave me? Out there?”

“Of course not. Seoul is pretty crowded, so stay close.” Yoochun finally turned away. He made sure he had his wallet, keys, and phone. As he slipped flipflops on his feet, he remembered that Junsu probably needed shoes, too. Luckily, he hadn’t yet thrown away his old pair. He kicked off the relatively new ones and motioned for Junsu to put them on his feet. “We’ll get you new shoes today, too.”

He opened the door, once they both had shoes on and gestured Junsu out. He did quickly, head lowered, and waited until Yoochun locked his door. Yoochun smiled at him, hoping it was reassuring and led the way down the hall and the stairs and out into the noisy dirty world. Two steps in front of them was the road with cars and people wove around them on the sidewalk, some bumping into him.

Junsu was suddenly plastered to his side.

Yoochun laughed and pried his arms off. “Hey, come on. It’s fine.”

Junsu tried to keep his arms around him.

Yoochun looked around and saw a few annoyed and disgusted looks shot their way. With Junsu’s pink hair, he was definitely going to stand out, and Yoochun did not want to give people more reason to stare.

He shoved Junsu to the side of the building carefully, and then stood right in front of him. “Look at me,” Yoochun said, and Junsu’s gaze went right to him. “Listen to me carefully, okay? I’m never going to order you around. I’m never going to make you do anything that you don’t want to do. But you do not understand society. Society does not accept gay people. Do you know what that word means at least, gay?”

Junsu bit his lips and nodded. “Same gender, together.”

“Yes. So you can’t hang on to me, okay? And beyond holding my hand, people will stare at you and at us, thinking we are gay.”

Junsu tilted his head. “But aren’t we? Or you? Or am I?”

“Yes, I am. But people in society don’t accept that.”

“Oh. Why?”

Yoochun sighed. “I ... I ... for a lot of stupid reasons that will take too long to explain. I think this is why my uncle left you to me, not that I own you or anything, but he probably did just because I’m the only one in my family that is gay, so he figured I’d like you.”

“Don’t you like me, Yoochun-ah?”

Yoochun smiled. “Yes, I do.”

Yoochun did not add a qualifier to that in anyway. Denying anything would make him a liar.

“I ... I can hold your hand?”

“Yes, you can. Come on. I don’t know about you, but I am hungry.”

Junsu nodded and held out his hand. Yoochun smiled and took it. They walked in silence to the shop he’d ordered from the last two nights. It technically had a name, but most in the neighborhood called it “The Ahjumma’s”. She waved hello to Yoochun from the window, and her nephew Jonghyun grinned at him and said hello and tried not to stare at Junsu’s pink hair.

Yoochun splurged just because there was money in his bank account and he ordered bulgogi for both of them. He directed them to his favorite table and let Junsu sit first before sitting across from him. Junsu stared out the window.

“There are so many people,” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun smiled and bit back a laugh. He had to remember that Junsu didn’t know much of anything. “There are more than eighteen million people in Seoul.”

Junsu visibly swallowed. “I ... I can’t even ... imagine that.”

Yoochun reached over and touched his arm. “It’s okay. Overwhelming, I know, but you don’t have to get used to this all at once.”

Junsu nodded.

Yoochun’s phone vibrated on the table and he reached for it, swiping the screen to unlock it. A text from Hyunjoong asking if he wanted to work extra hours that night. Normally Yoochun would accept and he almost did, before remembering Junsu. This was the first day to really get to know him, and he needed to if they were going to live together for awhile.

He sent: _can’t tonight. have plans_

A reply was almost instant: _oooooh does Yoochunnie finally have a date?_

Yoochun scowled at the text. He glanced up at Junsu, still looking out the window and smiled. He replied: _something like that_ and then turned his phone on silent and put it in his pocket.

Jonghyun came over and put the laden plates in front of them.

Junsu looked up at him and smiled and said, “Thank you,” so sincerely that Jonghyun actually flushed and bowed and said that he hoped they enjoyed their meal so formally that Yoochun stared after him with wide eyes. Jonghyun was never formal with him.

Slurping noises came from the other side of the table and Yoochun looked over to see Junsu shoveling meat into his mouth with a spoon.

Yoochun chuckled. “Do you know how to use chopsticks?”

Junsu swallowed what was in his mouth and shook his head and then shrugged. “Maybe? I haven’t used them since I was young.”

Yoochun smiled and started eating his own food. “We’re already getting enough attention, but I have a few pair at home that you can practice with.”

“Okay, thank you, Yoochun-ah. I ...” Junsu looked away. “I thought about leaving yesterday.”

Yoochun frowned at his food.

“I did, but ... then I took the blanket off the window, and the city is so big, and everything is so crowded, and I knew that I’d be ... I’d be lost if you weren’t helping me, so I stayed, and I’m glad I stayed, and I’m so glad you’re helping me because you don’t have to. You could have kicked me out of the cab, taken the money every month. You didn’t because you’re nice, and I’m glad you’re nice and I like you.”

Yoochun felt his cheeks flush halfway through Junsu’s mumbled words. He squirmed in his seat and replied, “It’s the right thing to do” with his eyes still on his food. Yoochun spent the rest of the meal telling Junsu the names of the side dishes that came with the food and how to prepare each one, just to keep the conversation off other topics. He really liked the potatoes and the sprouts, so Yoochun let him eat all of those, while he ate the broccoli and the radish kimchi.

When they finished eating, Yoochun shouted a good bye to the Ahjumma and Junsu bowed and said how good everything was while laughing and smiling and shuffling out the door.

Yoochun thought for a moment that it was embarrassing, but it was too endearing and cute to be that embarrassing, and it made Yoochun smile. He headed toward the nearest street market. Clothes were cheaper there, and even though there was a fair bit of money in his account, Yoochun felt bad for spending it, and there wasn’t actually a guarantee that the money would keep being deposited into his account.

Yoochun showed Junsu how to withdraw money from an ATM and gave him all of it since it was technically his anyway. He led the way to the market, his hand held tightly in Junsu’s. Junsu was only half paying attention to where they were walking and craning his head to see all the signs and shops around. It was probably even more intimidating since Junsu could not read.

A group of businessmen jostled them and Junsu clung tightly to his arm.

“Are you okay?” Yoochun asked, surprisingly soft considering their surroundings.

Junsu nodded, but stayed plastered to his side.

Yoochun didn’t mind only because they were almost to the market, and then it was so crowded with people that barely anyone would notice if Junsu was glued to him. Yoochun went to his favorite stall, the one that sold knockoff name brand clothes for about the fourth of the price. It was run by Lee Donghae, a few months younger than Yoochun. He was cute and they had a couple of drunken flings when Yoochun had been lonely and vulnerable after his more than painful breakup.

But Donghae had made it very clear that he was not in it for the emotions and only in it for the sex. It had hurt, because Yoochun thought Donghae would help him chase his demons away, but as Donghae said back then, he wasn’t going to be anyone’s rebound, and Yoochun was grateful. Things between them definitely would not have worked out. They were much better friends.

“Hey, Donghae-yah!” Yoochun said.

“Yoochun-ah! How are you?”

“Good as usual.”

“You come to buy today or just perve over me like you normally do?”

“Buy, but not for me.” Yoochun tugged Junsu away from his side. “This is my friend Junsu. I was telling him about your awesome discounts.”

“Nice to meet you,” Junsu said and bowed.

Donghae grinned. “Friend, huh? Aren’t those your jeans he’s wearing?”

Yoochun scowled at him. “Shut up. Yes, but he’s just a friend.”

“I like your hair.”

Junsu smiled and patted at his pink hair. “Thank you.”

“So, Junsu-shi, what size are you?”

“Size?” He looked at Yoochun.

Yoochun cleared his throat. “As you said, those are my jeans. Go from there.”

Donghae smirked at Yoochun. “Sure, sure.” Donghae grabbed a pair of blue jeans off the table and gave them to Junsu. “Go on in there,” he pointed behind himself to a curtained area, “and try those on.”

Junsu bit his lip and looked at Yoochun.

“Go,” Yoochun said. “I promise I won’t leave.”

“Okay.”

Junsu clutched the jeans to his chest and went behind the curtain. Yoochun couldn’t see him, but with the way the light was shining in between the buildings, he could see Junsu’s silhouette. Bending over, taking off jeans, standing in nothing, because he obviously wasn’t wearing boxers.

Yoochun licked his lips.

Donghae cleared his throat. “Just a friend.”

“Fuck you,” Yoochun said.

Donghae laughed.

Junsu poked his head through the curtains and then came out. The pants were not buttoned, obviously too small, but showing off a triangle of creamy pale skin. His t-shirt had ridden up, showing a pale pink glint of a piercing at his navel.

“Fuck,” Yoochun muttered and glared at Donghae. “You did that on purpose.”

Donghae smirked. “Prove it. That pair was in the wrong pile.”

“Is something wrong?” Junsu asked. “They’re too small. Do you have a larger pair, Donghae-shi?”

Donghae looked at Yoochun for a moment longer and then said, “Yeah. Let’s get you a bigger pair.”

Yoochun moved around the tables and found a few inexpensive t-shirts for Junsu, some with writing on them and some just plain colors.

“Wow,” Donghae said. “Turn around.”

Yoochun looked up in time to see Junsu turn in a circle.

Donghae whistled. “Man, Junsu-yah, you have got an ass just made for Evisu jeans.”

“Fake Evisu jeans,” Yoochun said.

Donghae smirked over at him. “Did you see his ass in these jeans?”

Yoochun looked before his brain could tell him not to. He felt his mouth fill with water and he flushed, swallowed and licked his lips, choking a little. “Nice.”

“Nice?” Donghae said. “It’s god-like. Beautiful.”

Junsu blushed. “T-thank you. I exercise.”

“I can tell. Come on. How many pairs of pants do you want today?”

Junsu looked over at Yoochun, but Yoochun said nothing, waiting to see if Junsu would instead. Junsu thought about it, and then said, “How much are they?”

“The ones you’re wearing are ten thousand, but if you buy three pair, I’ll sell them to you for twenty-five.”

Yoochun snorted. Donghae never made deals, and he clearly saw a sign showing that each pair of jeans were fifteen.

Junsu bit his lips and then nodded. “Okay. I’ll get three pair. I like how they fit.”

“So do I,” Donghae said and grinned at him.

Junsu grinned back.

Yoochun rolled his eyes and fought back jealously. He was not jealous. Not at all. “Hey, Su, come look at these shirts.”

Junsu walked over to him and approved of them all, including the bright yellow one with cool black designs on it.

“Hey, Junsu-yah, if you buy those three, I’ll give you this one for free,” Donghae said. He held up a white t-shirt with the English words, “Fuck Me” on the front.

“No way,” Yoochun said.

Junsu frowned. “But it’s free. Isn’t that good?”

“Normally, but you are not wearing a shirt that says ‘fuck me’ in English,” Yoochun said.

Junsu looked at the shirt and then at Yoochun. He smiled at Yoochun and said, “I want it, and it’s free.”

Yoochun took a very deep breath. He couldn’t exactly tell Junsu he couldn’t have it. It was his own money.

“And I want this,” Junsu said, pointing at a hat with flower patterns that was hanging from a hook above his head.

“That’s for girls,” Donghae said.

Junsu pouted at Yoochun. “I want it.”

“Let him have it. It’s his money.”

Donghae looked between the two of them and then took a very deep breath. “I’m not going to even pretend I know what’s going on.”

“Good decision,” Yoochun snapped.

Junsu frowned, but didn’t say anything else.

“Your total is fifty, Junsu-yah.”

Junsu took out his money and bit his lip and then nodded his head for a moment, before finally handing Donghae five ten thousand notes.

Yoochun smiled despite the tension.

“I’ll go grab Yoochun’s pants from the changing area,” Donghae said. “You look much better in the ones you’re wearing.”

“Thank you,” Junsu said.

Donghae slipped toward the back of the stall and Junsu moved toward Yoochun. Yoochun looked at a display of belts.

“Are you mad at me?” Junsu whispered.

“No,” Yoochun said, maybe a little too quickly, but he was more mad at himself than at Junsu.

“Are you sure?” Junsu reached for his hand.

Yoochun pretended not to notice and moved away from him. “Yes, I’m not mad at you.” He reached up and grabbed the hat that Junsu had bought. It was a pretty hat. He moved back to Junsu and put it on his head backwards.

Junsu smiled widely.

“Gangster,” Yoochun said.

Junsu tilted his head. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“Am I interrupting a moment?” Donghae asked.

Yoochun stepped away from Junsu, looking down.

“Not one that can’t be continued elsewhere,” Junsu said.

Yoochun’s head shot up in surprise, and Junsu laughed and winked at him.

Yoochun’s heart expanded in his chest so fast with such force and with so many feelings that he barely cared that Donghae was laughing at him.

Junsu turned to Donghae and bowed low while accepting the bag. When Junsu turned to him, hat almost falling off his head, Yoochun smiled and held out his hand. Junsu took it.

“Just friends, my ass!” Donghae shouted after them.

Yoochun ignored him and steered Junsu further into the market.

\---------

Yoochun opened the door to his apartment with more grace than he really had considering he was carrying three bags and trying to keep ahold of his iced coffee at the same time. Junsu laughed behind him.

“You could have put a bag down,” he said, entering after Yoochun. He set the bags down on the floor and kicked off the flipflops.

“Crap, we forgot to get you shoes,” Yoochun said.

Junsu laughed. “I doubt we could have carried more.”

“True.”

“Are you going to go to sleep, or can I take the blanket down?”

Yoochun smiled at that and said, “I’ll take it down. I need a cigarette.”

Junsu made a face and moved to the kitchen with the bags of food. Yoochun unpinned most of the blanket, bathing the apartment in late afternoon light. He opened the window and took a very deep breath before lighting his cigarette. It had been an interesting day.

Yoochun had not been upset, depressed, or tired. He didn’t spend his day drinking or binging while watching TV. It was fun and relaxing. Junsu laughed at so many things. He was excited for over many things. It was almost impossible to be in a bad mood around Junsu.

He looked over at Junsu.

All the cupboards, the small fridge and the freezer were open. Junsu stared at a can of something, and then looked in the cupboards, finding either a matching can or something close and putting the one in his hands away. Yoochun opened his mouth to say that he would do it, and then shut it. If Junsu needed help, he would ask for it. He stared back out the window, smoking his cigarette.

He finished before Junsu had the food put away, so Yoochun went to his dresser. They were going to need another one soon. For now, Yoochun shoved everything of his into two of the drawers, leaving the top one for Junsu.

“We also forgot to get you boxers,” Yoochun said.

Junsu looked over and shrugged. “It’s okay if I don’t have any. I probably wouldn’t wear them anyway.”

Yoochun took a very deep breath of control. “No, you need some. They’re used for more than just comfort, you know.”

“No, I don’t know. Remember?”

Yoochun cursed mentally. “It’s ... ugh, how do I explain this without being gross?”

“Your uncle used to piss on me,” Junsu said, “so not much you can say will gross me out.”

“They’re just for ... you know if you sweat or something. They protect your clothes from getting dirty.”

Junsu laughed. “That wasn’t gross.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes and sat on the couch with his coffee. He turned the TV on to some variety show with idols on it. He listened to Junsu move around behind him, putting clothes away in the dresser. Shutting the drawer.

“Yoochun-ah?” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun looked up at him. He looked nervous, biting his lip, wringing his hands and shifting from foot to foot. “What?” Yoochun asked.

“I can do what I want, right?”

“Yeah,” Yoochun said, brow furrowed in confusion.

“You won’t be mad?”

“Probably not. What do you want?”

Junsu met his eyes for a moment and then sat next to him on the couch. Yoochun froze as Junsu’s arms wrapped around his waist and he put his head on Yoochun’s chest. Junsu sighed, and Yoochun could just barely see the curve of his smile.

“Thank you, Yoochun-ah,” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun sat stiffly, mind warring with telling Junsu to move or not. But this is what Junsu had decided. He wanted it.

And if Yoochun was honest with himself, he wanted it, too. It was nice to be held. Nice to feel wanted.

“What are you thanking me for?” Yoochun said, voice husky. He tried to clear the lump from his throat.

Junsu looked up, chin digging into his chest. He smiled. “Today was a good day.”

Yoochun nodded.

“And ... and you didn’t push me away. And thank you. I ... I miss being hugged and cuddled and touched.”

Yoochun swallowed roughly.

Junsu put his head back on Yoochun’s chest. He shifted slightly, curling his legs up on the couch. Yoochun slowly lowered his hands, one falling to Junsu’s shoulder. The other gripped his own knee, the pressure just enough to keep him from toppling Junsu to the floor. The problem was that he wasn’t sure if he would follow Junsu down and see if he could get him to scream louder than the neighbor or if he would push Junsu away and hurt his feelings.

Letting him stay right in Yoochun’s lap was definitely the safer option.


	4. Situation

Yoochun jerked alert at a crash against his wall and a loud, muffled shout of “Fucking cunt!”

“God,” Yoochun moaned and twisted.

But there was a weight on him, and he looked down. The lights from the television brightened Junsu’s pink hair. Yoochun smiled, and then realized they were curled together on the couch, legs wrapped together. Junsu’s face pressed against his chest, mouth open a little bit.

He looked over to his bed and saw the red glow of his alarm clock. It was almost midnight. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but at least his schedule wouldn’t be too skewed.

Yoochun lifted a hand and ran his fingers through Junsu’s hair before he could stop himself.

Junsu shifted in his sleep, turning his head the other way.

Yoochun wanted to get up but didn’t want to wake Junsu up. But his fingers did not stop, and Junsu slowly woke up, shifting enough that Yoochun felt pleasure twisting up his spine. A boner right now would lead to something that Yoochun couldn’t handle.

Junsu blinked, eyes slowly opening. He murmured something, rubbing his face on Yoochun’s chest. His hands pushed further into the couch, fingers gripping Yoochun’s side with one hand, and his chest with the other. Yoochun let himself relax and he smiled, still running his hands through Junsu’s hair until he was awake, his breathing changing. He did not lift his head and his body stiffened. But when Yoochun said nothing, Junsu relaxed, too.

The moment was spoiled at angry shouts and something shattering next door.

Junsu moaned. “Have you ever banged on the wall and told them to shut up?”

“Yeah, but then he just hits her harder for disturbing the neighbors.”

Junsu frowned and tilted his head up, chin digging into his sternum. “Called the police?”

“Tons of times, but she always goes back to him.”

Junsu shut his eyes. He sighed and pushed himself up away from him. He rubbed his arms. Yoochun reached over and rubbed his elbow. They listened to the shouts from next door.

“Love,” Junsu said. “She loves him.”

“He doesn’t love her.”

“To her, he does. She goes back because he loves her, in her mind.”

Yoochun opened his mouth to argue, and then shut it with a sigh. “You don’t get it.”

Junsu looked over at him, their eyes meeting in the dim light from the city. “Don’t I?”

And Yoochun understood that maybe Junsu did get it. “If my uncle wasn’t dead, would you go back to him?”

“If your uncle wasn’t dead, I wouldn’t have left in the first place.”

That was not the answer that Yoochun wanted.

Junsu smiled. “You can’t live in the past,” he whispered. “I know that. I had to make peace with my present when I was eleven years old. Otherwise I would have gone insane. I liked being with your uncle, like I said, he was good to me, even if you don’t believe that. But I like being with you, too. I like the world outside even if it’s scary. It’s a new experience. I can’t think of what happened before, only about what is happening now.”

Yoochun looked away, dismissing his words even as they ringed true in his brain. It was hard to let go of the pain, the memories. The love.

Yoochun understood because he would go back. In a heartbeat, he would go back.

He blinked back the sudden welling of tears and cleared his throat. He pulled himself away from Junsu and stood up, stalking to the window. Lighting a cigarette, he watched Junsu from the corner of his eyes as he went into the bathroom.

He blew out a harsh inhale and tried not to think about Jaejoong.

“Y-yoo-yoochun-ah?” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun turned his head, but his image blurred behind another cloud of smoke. “What?”

“I-I’m hungry, and you said you-you would show me how to make ramen.”

Yoochun sighed and nodded. “Yeah, let me finish this. Get out the pot I have that’s in the cupboard and fill it with water. Turn on the cooktop. Number eight.”

“O-okay.”

Yoochun did not watch him and finished his cigarette.

“Now what?” Junsu asked when Yoochun got up. He walked to the kitchen and double checked everything.

“Now we wait until the water boils. It usually takes about five minutes. As soon as the water is boiling, we’ll put the ramen in and cook it.”

“Okay.” Junsu bit his lip and glanced up at him before looking away. “I’m sorry if what I said upset you.”

“Don’t apologize,” Yoochun said immediately.

Junsu scowled at him. “Not like that. I ... I like you. I shouldn’t upset you.”

“Still, it isn’t your fault I have issues.”

Junsu moved closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Yoochun shoved away from the counter. And him. “No.” He went back to the couch, intent on brooding, but Junsu sat next to him, a book in his hands. It was one of the children’s books of the alphabet, for Junsu to learn to write and read.

“You’ll help me?” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun nodded. He shut his eyes for long enough to push the demons away. He started with the consonants, helping Junsu put a character to the sound he made when he talked. He heard water boiling behind them, stopped the lesson to show Junsu how to break the ramen up a little and put it in the water. While their dinner (or was it breakfast, Yoochun could never tell with his schedule) cooked, Junsu picked up a pencil and practiced writing in the books Yoochun bought. They ate the ramen, Junsu struggling a bit with the chopsticks. Yoochun did the dishes.

When he was done, Yoochun went back to the couch. Junsu was sitting, flipping through a book.

“That book is in English,” Yoochun said. “You learned another language? Fuck, how long was I doing dishes?”

Junsu laughed, pulling the book up and covering his face so only his happy eyes could be seen. “The hearts are cute. I want to read it.”

Yoochun smiled and sat next to him.

“Will you read it to me?”

“In English?”

“You can translate it.”

“It’s about love.”

“Good,” Junsu said and curled up against Yoochun’s side, arms wrapped around his waist, just like the night before.

Yoochun shifted, but cleared his throat and started reading, first in English and then translating into Korean. It was a cute book, one with really short stories about love connected to an English word. It was why Yoochun bought it, to learn some different words than he was used to. He hadn’t even thought he would be reading a book about love to Junsu.

After a few pages, Junsu asked, “Where did you learn English?”

“My family lived in America for a little while.”

“Oh.” Junsu looked up at him. “You said that in the same ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ voice that you used to talk about your tattoo.”

Yoochun smiled tightly and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Keep reading!”

Yoochun kept reading. When he finished the book, almost two hours later, Junsu looked exhausted.

“You should sleep if you’re tired,” Yoochun whispered, fingers running through Junsu’s pink hair without his permission.

Junsu yawned. “I want ... I don’t want to mess up your schedule.”

“It’s going to take you more than a couple days to do that.”

“I know, but--” he broke off to yawn again.

Yoochun laughed and shifted to get up.

Junsu tightened his hold around his body and actually pouted up at him. “Are you getting up?”

“Yes. You can go sleep in the bed.”

“But this is comfortable. Are you uncomfortable?”

Yoochun met his eyes, deciding what to say. The truth or a lie? With Junsu staring at him with such wide, open, dark, beautiful eyes, lying was much harder than the truth.

“Yes, but only because I like it,” he finally said.

Junsu’s smile widened. “Then don’t get up since we both like it.”

“Look, Junsu--”

“No,” Junsu said, trying to burrow deeper into his chest.

Yoochun sighed and relaxed, one hand landing on Junsu’s shoulder, the other continued to card fingers through his hair. “I don’t want to be a replacement for my uncle, Junsu.”

Junsu lifted himself up quickly, eyes narrowed in the first sign of anger that Yoochun had seen from him. “If that is what I wanted, I’d be naked across your lap with you whipping me with a belt until I bled because if I ever, ever tried touching your uncle without permission, I was punished. You want to punish me for doing exactly what I want?”

“What? No, that’s not fair. I didn’t mean--”

“I know what you meant,” Junsu said and got off the couch. “If everything I do is going to seem like that, then ... well ... I won’t touch you anymore.”

Junsu practically threw himself on the bed, wrapped himself up in all of Yoochun’s blanket like a sushi roll, back to Yoochun.

Maybe lying had been the better option.

Yoochun sighed and stood up. He went to the dresser and grabbed his wallet, phone, cigarettes and keys. At the door, he slipped on a pair of flipflops, didn’t bother saying anything to Junsu, and left. He needed air. He needed to think. He needed to do something to stop his relationship with Junsu spiraling out of control. The guy had been a sex slave his entire life. How was Yoochun supposed to have a normal relationship with him? They really couldn’t, no matter how cute and adorable and nice and practically perfect Junsu was. It was Yoochun’s duty to make sure he learned about real life, learned how to read, learned how to function. Get a job. Move out.

Love was out of the question. For both of them.

Junsu needed to learn that love was not what his uncle did to him.

Yoochun thought he knew what love was, but the only man he had ever loved left him bitter and heartless. Emotionally destroyed. Living life from one shot glass to the next. Yoochun knew that blaming Jaejoong for his mental and emotional issues wasn’t fair. It took a long time for Yoochun to forgive him, to understand that Jaejoong leaving was better than Jaejoong lying to him and being outwardly perfect but miserable on the inside. He did not want Jaejoong to ever be miserable. And yet part of him wondered if Jaejoong had ever tried to forget him through too many bottles of soju.

Yoochun doubted it.

He slipped into the next club he found, set down roots at the bar, and drank until he managed to convince the gorgeous bartender to take him in the back and let him get on his knees.

\----

Yoochun staggered home, one hand curled around a mostly empty bottle, the other scraping along buildings to stay upright. His mouth tasted of liquor, vomit and semen. And guilt. Guilt for something. Yoochun couldn’t really remember. Maybe another drink would help.

He crawled up the spinning stairs to his apartment. He forgot which floor. Tilted his head to see numbers. Six sounded right. Maybe it was six.

“Sex,” Yoochun mumbled. “Sex floor. Sex ...”

A muffled voice said something above him. Yoochun pried his eyes open. A neighbor. Maybe.

“Sex floor,” Yoochun said again.

The man laughed. Firm hands gripped under his arms and hauled him to his feet. Yoochun moaned, swallowing a mouthful of bile and saliva. His head swam.

“Drink much?”

“Not enough.”

“You drink a lot, Yoochun-shi.”

“I drink it because I can’t love it.”

“You should lock your door,” the man said, manhandling Yoochun through the door. “Oh, hi.”

Another voice said hello.

“I didn’t know Yoochun ... oh, I’ll just ...”

Yoochun squinted into his apartment. The person standing there had pink hair. Junsu.

“Junsu,” Yoochun mumbled.

“Yeah, hi, I’m ... I’m Junsu.”

“Hi, Junsu. I’m Seunghyun. I live next door. I thought Yoochun lived alone.”

“He does ... did,” Junsu said.

Yoochun swayed as he was transferred into arms. “Pretty,” he said, breath puffing on pink hair.

Seunghyun. Right. The sex neighbor.

Sex.

“Sex floor. Sex. Fuck.” Yoochun fell to his knees and threw up.

The next thing he remembered was a cool cloth rubbing over his arm and an annoyed voice calling him a drunken bastard. And light. Bright sunlight right in his face. He tried to roll over, but his stomach and his head protested.

Fuck, how much did he drink if he was so hungover with a headache?

“You are a drunken bastard,” the voice said again.

Yoochun agreed with it. He rolled the other way, jarring his body when his knees hit the ground. He shut his mouth tightly and crawled in the general direction of his bathroom. He heard huffing behind him, but ignored it. He curled an arm around the base of the toilet, the cool porcelain pressed against his cheek. For a moment only spit dripped into the bowl, and then Yoochun threw up again.

Soft fingers trailed up his back and moved sweaty hair off his clammy skin.

“Such a bastard.” The voice was less annoyed and more fondly exasperated.

Yoochun pried open an eye to look at blurry pink. “M’sorry, Su-su-ah. Sorry.”

Junsu pressed his lips together and nodded. “I’m not going to accept your apology until I know that you know what you’re apologizing for.”

Yoochun tried to reply to that and threw up again instead.

“Gross.” JUnsu turned and left the bathroom.

Yoochun tried to protest, but collapsed on the floor. He lay there until firm hands sat him up and he swallowed against more nausea. His head spun, his world darkened as his shirt was pulled off. He was already just in boxers, and a moment later, hands yanked those down too.

He toppled back and only didn’t smash his head into the floor by strong arms, catching him around his shoulders.

“Come on. On your feet.”

Yoochun staggered up, everything twisting around him. Junsu pushed him and manhandled him into the shower cubicle. The first splash of cold water tore a surprised yelp from Yoochun.

Junsu snorted and adjusted the temperature. He stood behind Yoochun and pushed him under the spray of water.

By the time he was over the shock, Junsu had a soapy washcloth in his hands, rubbing up and down Yoochun’s body.

Yoochun groaned and half-attempted to bat him away, feeling his cock twitch.

“Shut up,” Junsu said and roughly turned Yoochun around to wash his back. Yoochun leaned against the wall, hands limp at his sides, forehead against the cool tile.

“Thank you,” he muttered.

Junsu snorted. The washcloth landed on his shoulder. “You can do the rest yourself, I hope.”

The door opened, letting in a blast of cool air, and Yoochun shivered. He stood under the warm water for a little longer before grabbing the washcloth. But he could barely move and only halfheartedly washed himself. Moving was a bad idea anyway. He probably stood under the spray for ten minutes before the water went cold and he turned it off.

On the counter was a bottle of water and a few pills.

Yoochun smiled despite the pounding in his head. He rubbed a towel over him until he was mostly dry and then took the pills. He forgot about Junsu and walked out of the bathroom naked. Staggered. To the dresser. But it seemed like too much effort to actually get dressed and he fell to the bed instead. He climbed up and under the covers with a deep moan.

The room was dim, the blanket back over the window.

“Thank you,” Yoochun muttered to the general direction of the couch.

“You’re welcome,” came the reply right at his shoulder.

Yoochun turned his head too fast, shut his eyes with a moan, and pulled his pillow over his head.

“Dumbass,” Junsu said softly and rubbed his arm.

“Junsu, I--”

“Just sleep,” Junsu whispered. “You’re still mostly drunk.”

Yoochun grunted, but didn’t try to argue with that. His head was swimming and the room spun when he opened his eyes.

Yoochun woke up again, this time to the annoying beeping of his alarm. He moaned and tried to move to turn it off. But there was something against his body. Warm and heavy.

Fuck. Who did he fall into bed with?

Yoochun hated it when he couldn’t remember.

A strong arm reached across him and slapped the noise off.

Pink hair brushed his chin.

Yoochun suddenly felt wide awake, staring down at Junsu who was trying to cuddle and force his way deeper against Yoochun’s body. His very naked body. “Ten more minutes,” he mumbled.

Yoochun swallowed deeply and mentally cursed. He vaguely remembered coming home shitfaced. Throwing up. And Junsu. Cleaning him up. Taking care of him.

Yoochun shut his eyes with a deep sigh. Fuck.

“How’s your head?” Junsu muttered into his chest. Bare chest. Fucking hell.

Yoochun tried to get up. “Ouch.”

“You deserve it.”

“Yeah.”

Junsu shifted against him again, leg sliding up Yoochun’s. At least Junsu had clothes on.

Yoochun tried to relax and couldn’t.

Junsu huffed in annoyance, grabbed his wrist and flung it around his own shoulders. “Ten more minutes.”

But Yoochun could not relax, not knowing he was completely naked with a gorgeous man wrapped around his body. In his bed.

“If you huff one more time,” Junsu said darkly.

Yoochun chuckled and finally let himself relax, arms around Junsu’s shoulders. After another minute, he said, “I’m sorry for ... for ...”

Junsu lifted his head and an eyebrow. “For ...”

“I don’t even know,” Yoochun said.

Junsu propped up on an elbow. “How about for thinking that I want you to treat me like your uncle did?”

Yoochun nodded. “Yeah. For that.”

“For throwing up all over the floor and then passing out for six hours so I had to clean it up?”

“Definitely.”

“For denying that you like me.”

“I didn’t ...”

Junsu smiled. “Yes, you did.”

Yoochun frowned and shut his eyes. “This isn’t normal.”

“You’re gay, which you explained was not looked too kindly on by society. So not normal. I was a sex slave. Again, not normal. So we’re both not normal. Makes sense that nothing else we do is normal.”

Yoochun smiled and opened his eyes.

Junsu smiled back. “Let me explain something to you, Yoochun. I ... I was satisfied with my life because I didn’t know anything else existed for me. I learned to do what your uncle wanted with the least amount of resistance and the least amount of punishments. You’ve showed me that real life isn’t like this, and I’m learning what that means. I don’t want you to be like your uncle, and I don’t want to act like I did when I was with your uncle. It’s different now. I like you because you’re nice and you’re helping me. This doesn’t have to be anything else.”

“I want it to be something else,” Yoochun said, voice soft but rough. “God, sorry. Did I say that out loud?”

Junsu’s smile widened and then he laughed and fell back to Yoochun’s chest, arms wrapped around him, shoving under his body. “Let me understand what that means first.”

Yoochun hugged him. “Part of it is this,” he said. “Fuck, Junsu, I’m naked. Sharing a bed, cuddling, hugging. It’s ... it’s not what friends do.”

“It’s what we do,” Junsu said. “That’s all. No one else is here to say that it’s wrong.”

Yoochun thought about that for a little while. It was said with such innocence, but Yoochun could not argue with the logic. What he wanted with Junsu at that point was just a dream of a stable boyfriend. Someone to love. Someone to care for. Someone that wouldn’t break his heart.

But when Junsu learned more about the world, got a job, lost a bit of his innocence of society, there was no guarantee that he was going to be left with love.

Or even a friend.


	5. Lips

“What god decided to shove a bunch of sunshine up your ass?” Hyunjoong asked him that night during his shift at the bar.

Yoochun laughed and finished pouring a shot of tequila into a glass. He didn’t answer, instead grabbing a beer for another customer.

“You shut up,” Yunho said, slightly slurred from the alcohol. “His smile is gorgeous. Gorgeous. Don’t tell him to stop.”

Yoochun smiled over at one of his favorite customers and leaned close enough for a kiss to his cheek.

“Gorgeous,” Yunho said again and reached to touch him.

Yoochun pretended he didn’t notice and refilled Yunho’s glass with soju.

Hyunjoong rolled his eyes and went back to the floor to get a few more drink orders.

“Seriously sexy,” Yunho slurred and sloppily licked his lips. “Want to take you home.”

“You’re married, hyung,” Yoochun reminded him.

Yunho blew out a breath in protest. “So? Sexier than she is. Sexy. Don’t marry a woman. No dick.”

Yoochun chuckled.

“While you’re in a good mood,” Hyunjoong said as he sat down a few empty glasses, “I’ll tell you that I saw Jaejoong today.”

Yoochun’s smile immediately fell and he glared at the bar top. “So what?”

Hyunjoong snorted. “He asked about you.”

“Good for him.”

“I told him you were a deadbeat drunken bastard without him.”

“Fuck you.”

Hyunjoong sighed. “I’m kidding. I actually told him that you were happy because you have been. He seemed glad that you met someone but upset when I said I didn’t know who it was.”

“My business, not yours. Fuck off.”

“Chunnie,” Yunho whined. “Smile again.”

Yoochun tried to smile, but it felt like more of a scowl.

“Fuck you,” Yunho said, pointing at Hyunjoong. “Make him happy again. Kiss him.”

Yoochun chuckled and leaned over the bar, into Yunho’s space. “Rather have you kiss me. He’s a dick.”

Yunho smiled and latched onto the back of his neck to press their lips together. He didn’t mind when Yunho forced his tongue into his mouth and he didn’t mind the gasps and begs to let Yunho fuck him. He wouldn’t mainly because he didn’t want to be “the other woman,” but it was always nice to be wanted. He spent his entire break in a back booth, in Yunho’s lap, accepting kisses and drinks until his head was swimming and Yunho was drunk enough to call a cab to take him home.

It was almost closing time when Yoochun cleared his throat and asked Hyunjoong. “Was .. how ... okay? Was he okay?”

Hyunjoong smirked at him and nodded. “Yeah. Leaning against a tall piece of chocolate heaven.”

Yoochun’s chest constricted. “Didn’t need to know that.”

Hyunjoong actually smiled. “Yes, you did. It’s been what four years?”

Yoochun cleared his throat. “Almost.”

“Move on, man. With this new guy that you won’t tell me about.”

“Nothing to tell,” Yoochun said. “We’re friends.”

“I want to meet him.”

“One day,” Yoochun said.

“Oh, and he’s blond now. Looks kind of trashy.”

Yoochun gave him a look with an eyebrow raised.

Hyunjoong laughed. “Yeah, okay, he’s sexy as hell. He probably always will be.”

“Yeah.”

“Look, I knew this would upset you, but my point is, he’s ... he’s ... moved on. You need to, too.”

“I know. I know. But also remember,” Yoochun said, trying not to be too angry, “he left me. It makes more sense that he’d be fine when it was me that was discarded.”

“Yeah. And he’s not coming back.”

“Fuck you.”

Hyunjoong stared at him until Yoochun grumbled an apology and turned back to the bar to finish his shift. He took a single bottle of soju home with him and sipped on it as he walked. He thought about pulling up a curb and waiting for a bus, but he could walk home before the first one came.

He thought about Jaejoong. He hadn’t seen him in four years, but their mutual friends or acquaintances always gave him updates. The first two years he had to beg them for news about Jaejoong.

He had been obsessed, but that usually happened when you were in love. And he had been in love. Still was in love. Probably would always be in love with Jaejoong. He had defied his family for him, moved in with him, got matching tattoos with him.

Yoochun didn’t even know that Jaejoong had been unhappy after a few years. He had tried to get over him, tried dating, tried fucking around. But alcohol was all that helped dull the pain.

And Junsu.

But Junsu didn’t count. He was too new in Yoochun’s life. Too ... different.

Not normal.

Maybe not normal was exactly what Yoochun needed, though he did not think that was fair to Junsu. He had to learn. Yoochun had to help him.

With a sigh, Yoochun headed up the stairs to his apartment. He finished the bottle on the way up. The door was not locked; he’d have to talk to Junsu about that. The apartment was dark, only lit by the city lights outside. Junsu was probably sleeping. Yoochun kicked his shoes off. Whimpers from next door echoed through the dark.

Yoochun headed toward the kitchen for a glass of water and stopped at another louder, desperate whimper that was definitely not filtered through the wall. He looked around the room and saw movement on the bed.

 _That_ kind of quick frantic movement. Accompanied by pale light on pale skin.

Yoochun flushed and moved closer, wanting to look, wanting to hurry to the bathroom until Junsu finished. But drunken curiosity was more powerful than propriety and Yoochun moved to the bed.

Junsu lay mostly naked, t-shirt bunched up around his armpits, smooth legs spread wide apart. The city lights glistened over his sweaty skin and cast shadows on the tense muscles of his thighs and his abs. Yoochun let himself look and licked his lips. Not only was there a pink twinkle at his navel, but there was another one at his cock, right at the ridge, and there was a dark tattoo on his thigh.

Yoochun’s head went light with a sudden burst of lust.

Junsu whimpered again. His name.

Yoochun glanced up at his face so fast that his neck should have broken. His pink hair was darker and lay in wet swathes on his forehead. Sweat beaded down his face and neck. How long had he been jerking himself off?

“Please,” Junsu whispered, hand speeding up. His eyes opened and shut with each wave of pleasure that rocked through him. “Please.”

Please what? Yoochun wondered.

“Come, let me come, please.”

Yoochun’s forehead furrowed and he looked back down at Junsu’s body. Across his sculpted, tight abs. His cock pulsing liquid to his stomach.

“Please! Please!”

Yoochun’s knees hit the side of the bed, and he watched for another moment. His cock was throbbing in his jeans and he wanted to touch, ached to touch and play. Junsu’s strokes turned frantic, his butt lifting from the bed, his cries growing louder. It looked like he was on the brink of coming, just on the edge, and Yoochun waited, wanting to see it.

Fingers suddenly gripped his shirt and yanked on him, and Yoochun fell to the bed with an _oof_. He just managed to turn so he did not fall onto Junsu, but ended up half on the bed, half off, propped up on his elbow.

“Please,” Junsu whispered. “Please let me come. Please.”

Yoochun frowned at him and nodded, but Junsu’s eyes were shut tightly and he was still tugging at Yoochun, pulling himself closer until Yoochun shifted up on the bed, and Junsu’s face was buried in Yoochun’s side. His scream was muffled, and Yoochun expected him to have come, but his body just shook and twisted. Yoochun licked his lips and reached through his soju-swirled haze to touch Junsu’s shoulder.

Junsu whimpered, and twisted closer, still begging.

And Yoochun understood. He gasped and nodded, trying to think past the pleasure and lust coiling through him.

Junsu couldn’t come. Not without permission.

Yoochun remembered telling him he could jerk off, but that didn’t seem like enough permission.

“Yoochun, please!” Junsu shouted and curled up around him, arms around his side, at his legs, and then he was moving, muffling his cries on Yoochun’s chest while he humped Yoochun’s leg.

Yoochun cleared his throat and shifted, moved his leg and Junsu whimpered, adjusting until the was riding Yoochun’s thigh, face at Yoochun’s neck. His gasps puffed on Yoochun’s skin, and his cock throbbed in his jeans.

“Please,” Junsu gasped. “Please. Please. Let me come, let me come.”

Yoochun licked his lips again, and nodded. He lifted shaking hands and pulled Junsu’s body closer, letting his fingers slide down his sweaty back, just to his tailbone. He stopped there, wanting to grip his plump ass, but not wanting to freak Junsu out. He rested his head against Junsu’s.

“Come,” Yoochun managed to whisper. And then said it louder, “Come. It’s okay, Su-ah. You can come.”

Junsu whimpered in absolute relief and his body shook, thrusts faster.

Yoochun said it again, right against his ear. “Come, baby, it’s okay. Come.”

Junsu’s body froze for a moment, his mouth open against Yoochun’s neck. He whimpered and then screamed, body jerking through one of the most violent orgasms Yoochun had ever seen. Junsu whimpered and moaned, shaking and convulsing. Yoochun felt wet spots through his t-shirt all the way up to this chest.

And then Junsu collapsed, fell against him in a crying, shivering heap.

Yoochun had no idea what to say and kept rubbing his back, under the t-shirt, while Junsu’s sobs echoed through the room. And he had no idea how long it was until Junsu’s sobs turned to sniffles and his body sagged against him.

The sky in the windows was a lighter shade of dark. More lights brightened the city.

“S-ssory, I’m ... s-ssorrry, I ...”

Yoochun hushed him. “It’s okay.”

Junsu pushed up and glared at him. “It’s not okay!”

Yoochun smiled and pulled Junsu against him body and hugged him tightly. “It is okay.”

Junsu was crying again.

Yoochun said nothing and held him closer, tucked under his chin until he calmed down again. He moved Junsu enough to see his face and the tears on his cheeks. He rubbed them away with his thumbs and just stopped himself from leaning forward to kiss him.

“Go take a shower,” Yoochun whispered. “Clean up a bit, okay? We can talk after, if you want.”

Junsu rubbed his arms and then nodded. He bit his lips before hugging Yoochun tightly, unexpectedly, and then he got up. Come dripped down his thighs, and his bare ass was probably the most gorgeous thing Yoochun had ever seen. His body curved in a perfect S-line that he knew a lot of women would kill for.

He staggered to the bathroom, and Yoochun sat frozen, watching, until the door shut and he was able to breathe again. He put his hand to the bed to get up and it landed right in a thick puddle of come. Yoochun made a face at the feeling, but brought his hand up and licked the come off it. He shivered when his cock pulsed.

Fuck that was hot. Too hot.

He unbuttoned his jeans, shoved them and his boxers to his knees, and wrapped his dirty hand on his cock, and stroked. With everything in his mind, and even if it was fucked up, the sounds of Junsu begging, had him coming in minutes, adding to the mess already on his clothes and the bed.

Eh, he had to do laundry anyway.

He lay in bed, gasping and recovering, until the shower turned off. He sat up and pulled his t-shirt off carefully. A clump of come still managed to drip to his shoulder. He wiped it off, spreading more from the t-shirt on his chest. With a heavy sigh, he tossed the shirt to the side and then stood up to finish stripping.

Junsu did not come out of the bathroom, so Yoochun went in.

He was staring at himself in the mirror, only a towel around his waist. Sad. Upset. Not his usually smiling happy self.

Yoochun thought of keeping his distance and did only because he still had come all over him. But he didn’t stop himself from leaning over and pressing a kiss to Junsu’s bare shoulder. He said nothing until he was in the shower, water streaming around him.

“Go yank the sheets off the bed,” he said. “I need to do laundry anyway.”

Junsu didn’t reply but a few seconds later, the door to the bathroom opened. Yoochun washed quickly, dried off even faster and went into the room. The sheets from the bed were in a pile on the floor. Junsu’s pink hair peaked up from over the couch.

Yoochun went to the dresser and slipped on a pair of sweatpants before going to the couch. Junsu was holding a pillow against his body. He’d put on the same plaid pants he wore the first day, but he too wasn’t wearing a shirt. Yoochun sat right next to him, and despite Junsu’s half-hearted protests, pulled Junsu (pillow and all) into a hug.

Junsu’s chest hitched and Yoochun hugged him tighter, rubbing his arm and shoulder with one hand.

“I’m sorry,” Junsu whispered.

“Don’t be.”

Junsu lifted his head and bit his lower lip. “I ... I can’t ... I wasn’t allowed to come without permission. I tried ... I knew ... I knew you would just tell me it was okay, but I couldn’t, and I ...”

Yoochun hushed him. “I know.”

“It’s so hard ... everything I did was dictated and controlled. I wasn’t even ejaculating before my orgasms were controlled, and sometimes I can’t even piss because I know I wasn’t told I could.”

“Will it help if I tell you that you can come and orgasm whenever you want?”

“No. I already knew that you’d say that, but I still ... I couldn’t.”

Yoochun thought about that and then said, “I guess we’ll just have to train you again.”

Junsu snorted and lifted his head. “Until what? Until I can only come when you tell me to?”

“No, but ...” Yoochun had to take a deep breath of control because really, the thought of Junsu only coming when he said he could was really hot. “Every night, I go to work, you jerk off. If you can’t come, then fine. When I get home, like today, I’ll give you permission, but in the back of that pretty head of yours, I want you to understand that you have permission to do whatever you want, including coming. Maybe in a few weeks ...”

Junsu huffed. “So, tomorrow, we’re going to do this again?”

Yoochun licked his lips.

“Like that idea, huh?”

Yoochun felt heat rush to his face, but hoped it was dark enough that Junsu did not see. “You are incredibly sexy, Junsu, so yeah.”

“Not normal,” Junsu said.

“No, not normal.”

Junsu sighed and shut his eyes. He rubbed his face.

_Not normal._

Yoochun pulled him and Junsu went with the lead until he was straddling Yoochun’s lap. Yoochun ran his hands down his bare arms and settled them on his hips, fingers rubbing at the top of the sweatpants. There was a piercing in his left nipple too.

“I couldn’t really see it,” Yoochun said and moved his hand to Junsu’s thigh. He splayed his fingers over the firm muscle. “What does it say?”

Junsu snorted. “I can’t read and your uncle never told me.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes and tugged at the hem. Junsu shifted and let him pull them down. In heavy black writing was “My Pretty Slave Xiah” and next to it, a pink flower. Yoochun traced the characters as he read it out loud. He stared at it, and then at Junsu’s flaccid pierced dick. His own dick twitched, and he hastily pulled the sweats back up.

“What about yours?” Junsu asked, sitting back and crossing his arms.

Yoochun leaned back on the couch, hands in a loose grip on Junsu’s hips. “I ... my ex-boyfriend ...” He cleared his throat and tilted his head back, blinking back moisture. “We got couple tattoos as soon as we turned eighteen. It says ‘mate’ in English. He has the word ‘soul’ tattooed on his back. We always said we were soulmates.”

“Eighteen?”

Yoochun nodded. “We went to school together. My family moved back to Korea when I was fifteen, and I met Jaejoong on the first day of school, and learned that he was the outcast because he was gay and I was an outcast because I was from America and ... we ended up being best friends and then lovers and then ... my family kicked me out when I came out when we were twenty, right after our military service. I lived with him for three years before he ... he broke up with me.”

“Why did he break up with you?”

Yoochun shrugged. “He said it was just because he loved me more as a brother than a boyfriend. We were too young, too immature, and I just wasn’t what he wanted anymore.”

“Painful.”

Yoochun nodded. “Yeah.”

“So how long ago was this?”

“Too long, as my friend Hyunjoong says.”

“You haven’t dated since then?”

“Sort of. I’ve tried, but ... I dated Donghae for a little while, and then he tried to set me up with people, and of course I’ve had sex with people, but ... ” Yoochun tried to come up with the same excuses that he always used and kept his mouth shut instead.

“You’re scared,” Junsu whispered and touched his cheek.

Yoochun frowned but did not deny that.

Junsu continued to touch his face, over his nose and lower lip. “Is it normal that I want you to kiss me?” Junsu suddenly asked.

Yoochun choked on nothing.

Junsu laughed. “I take that as a no.”

Yoochun managed to smile and joke, “No, that is normal. Lots of people want to kiss me.”

Junsu laughed again. He put his hands on Yoochun’s shoulders and leaned forward. “But it’s not really normal, right? Considering the circumstances?”

Yoochun took a very deep breath. “No, but we shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“This whole thing is still new to you, Junsu. I don’t want to take advantage of that. I want you to learn about the world and learn how to read and ... you know, get a job and be able to function on your own.”

“I can do all that and still have you kiss me, can’t I?”

Yoochun felt his resolve crumbling. It was really hard to protest something that he wanted so badly.

“Yes, but--”

Junsu’s smile lit up the room and he leaned forward, arms wrapping around Yoochun’s neck. Yoochun did not stop their lips from pressing together and he put his arms around Junsu’s waist. But he waited. Junsu held the firm kiss for a few seconds before pulling away with a smile.

“I like you,” he said. “Isn’t that the first step to normal?”

Yoochun narrowed his eyes. “Have you been watching dramas?”

Junsu laughed. “Yes. And this is the part where you either tell me you like me too or you pretend you don’t like me and it takes us to the end of the episode until you admit it.”

Yoochun laughed with him. “When is the end of this episode?”

“Right now?”

“Okay. Right now.” Yoochun touched his cheek softly, fingers rubbing under his eyes. “I like you, too,” he whispered and kissed him again, this time letting himself relax and really kiss him, open mouths, wet lips, touches of tongue. As Junsu said the day before, this was happening now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Now. And Yoochun was really, really happy right now.

And he really, really, really wanted to topple Junsu to the couch and give them both another orgasm, but there needed to be some semblance of normal in this to keep Yoochun from bailing.

“Let’s go back to bed, take a nap, and then do laundry,” Yoochun said.

“Is sleeping on a bed with no sheets normal?”

“Definitely not.”

Junsu laughed and climbed off Yoochun’s lap. He held out his hand and Yoochun took it, letting Junsu pull him up to this feet.

It was so easy to fall into bed, snuggle up close under the blanket, and put his arm around Junsu’s waist.


	6. Skin

Yoochun quietly opened the door, listening for anything out of the ordinary. Listening for Junsu stroking off. He was met with silence. He felt a bit guilty that he was disappointed. He entered his apartment and kicked off his shoes. He maneuvered to the dresser from the city light filtering through the window. A glance at the bed showed him that Junsu was sleeping, pink hair splayed over a pillow. Topless. The light caught the pink jewel in his nipple.

Yoochun licked his lips and quickly went to the bathroom. He stripped, used the toilet, brushed his teeth, and then went back to the bed, wearing just boxers.

He climbed under the covers, smiling as Junsu protested in his sleep. He curled on his side and moved close enough to drape his arm around his stomach. Junsu huffed and turned away from him, but shifted closer, so they were pressed together.

Yoochun smiled and let himself kiss the soft skin at the juncture of neck and shoulder. His fingertips trailed across his stomach, skin twitching under the light touch.

He woke up to Junsu moving and bright sunlight. He moaned, curling up against the opposite wall and throwing the pillow over his head. A few moments later, the light dimmed and the bed dipped and a warm body nestled against his.

Yoochun smiled and shifted back, curling his fingers with Junsu’s where they sneaked around his waist.

“You’re awake?”

Yoochun hummed, already on his way back to sleep.

“Liar,” Junsu whispered and kissed him in just the same spot as Yoochun had kissed him earlier.

Yoochun woke up to soft moans by his ear and a slight movement of the bed. It was easy to wake up. His head did not throb. His stomach wasn’t a tangled mess of alcohol. He had one shot the night before. It was an interesting experience to not be hungover. One he was getting used to.

“Yoochun,” Junsu whispered, voice breathy.

Yoochun blinked, turning his head to Junsu’s bright smile. He returned it, shifting closer.

Junsu trailed his fingers over Yoochun’s cheek, and Yoochun shut his eyes, not surprised when Junsu kissed him. But he was surprised when Junsu moved closer, pulling their bodies together.

Yoochun realized Junsu was naked, and he should have known that first. In his defense, Junsu’s smile was distracting. So was the erection pressed against his hip.

“Good morning,” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun could only smile, throat too tight to actually reply. Junsu kissed him again and rubbed against him, small rotations of his hips.

“I got a headstart,” Junsu said, “but this is much better than waiting until I’m ready to come and then waking you up.”

Yoochun grunted his agreement and didn’t stop Junsu from pulling him over until he was on top, one leg between Junsu’s, giving him something to rut against. Junsu moaned, body moving continuously, fingers digging into Yoochun’s back. Their lips met again, Yoochun’s arm bent right next to Junsu’s head. Junsu eagerly met each kiss and tried to speed it up, but Yoochun kept them slow, kept each touch of tongue, each brush of lips, soft and gentle. Junsu keened and whimpered in the back of his throat, writhing underneath him.

“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” Yoochun whispered as he moved his lips down Junsu’s soft jawline.

“Probably not,” Junsu gasped.

Yoochun smiled and kept kissing delicate skin that jerked and shivered under his touch. He slid back, one hand at Junsu’s hip and let his lips and tongue dance over his collarbones and down his chest to his pierced nipple. He lapped at the jewel before sucking everything into his mouth.

Junsu moaned, rubbing against Yoochun’s thigh. His hands slid down Yoochun’s back and into his boxers.

Yoochun pushed up on his hands, pressing his weight against Junsu’s body to still his movements. “As hot as it is to watch you beg,” Yoochun said with a smirk, “you can come whenever you want, okay? Hold yourself back only if you want.”

Junsu smiled widely, wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck and pulled him back down for more kisses. Hands gripped and slipped over sweaty skin. Bodies brushed and twisted. Junsu whimpered his name, fingers sliding up the leg of Yoochun’s boxers.

Yoochun smiled and shifted enough to pull them off.

“Will ... will you touch me?” Junsu whispered.

“Yes, but only if you touch me, too.”

Junsu nodded and licked his lips. He suddenly looked nervous, scared. Yoochun brushed his fingers over Junsu’s cheeks.

“I ... I wasn’t allowed to touch. Ever. With my hands.”

Yoochun smiled and said, “Well, if you don’t, I’m really going to be upset. I want your hands on me.”

Junsu gripped Yoochun’s erection lightly and Yoochun sighed, eyes shutting at the soft touch. Junsu stroked him a few times before Yoochun reciprocated, fingers curling around Junsu’s cock. His thumb brushed over the piercing, making Junsu’s breath hitch.

“Contest,” Yoochun gasped. “See who can make the other come first and you’re not allowed to hold back.”

“Who wins? Me for making you come, or you for coming first?”

Yoochun chuckled. “Smart ass. Stroke.”

Junsu laughed and Yoochun kissed him. Their bodies shifted enough to allow the other to stroke, and Yoochun’s head went light quickly. He was going to lose ... or win. It’d been so long since he was sober enough to appreciate the touch of someone else’s hand on his skin, the feel and heft of someone else’s erection in his hand.

But it was more than that. It was waking up to Junsu, sharing a bed with Junsu, smiling, laughing, eating, reading, living with Junsu. He was falling too soon and too fast, but it was what he is best at.

As the pleasure spiraled higher, Yoochun stopped kissing Junsu’s lips, pressing his face against his collarbone, letting his skin and heat and smell fill his brain and body. He fought the urge to thrust into Junsu’s hand and focused his desperation on leaving hickys and teeth marks along Junsu’s collarbone and down to his nipple. He was sucking on the piercing again when the pleasure peaked and Junsu rocked up into him when he bit down and he shuddered, elbow collapsing. His cock slid along Junsu’s side and Yoochun thrust fast, spraying his release over Junsu’s skin as his orgasm rendered him useless for a couple of long minutes.

When Yoochun finally pushed himself back up to his hands, Junsu was stroking his own cock. It wasn’t the frantic need from the night before, but the leisurely strokes of someone very pleased with himself. Yoochun smiled at Junsu’s satisfied smirk and shifted so he was straddling Junsu’s thighs. He ran his hands up and down Junsu’s side, through the mess of come, and to his nipples, slick and firm, and down to his belly button, tugging at the piercing there.

Junsu moaned, eyes shutting, back arching a little bit. He sped up his strokes.

“Stop,” Yoochun said.

Junsu whimpered, but stopped stroking himself immediately.

With another smile, Yoochun used Junsu’s hips to steady himself and lowered his head. He ran his tongue along the crown of Junsu’s erection, pulling a cry from Junsu’s throat. He lapped at the piercing, sucking lightly on the ridge before taking the head and half the shaft into his throat. He stopped where Junsu still gripped himself and hummed in annoyance. Junsu’s hand left and went right to his hair, both hands pulling while Yoochun sucked on him.

“Oh, god, Yoochun, fuck, Yoochun!”

A violent jerk of Junsu’s body had Yoochun falling, almost gagging on his cock, and then the hands tightened in his hair and Junsu lifted his hips, fucking Yoochun’s throat. His jaw ached immediately from the onslaught, but the knew Junsu was too close to stop him. He reached up and lightly tugged on Junsu’s balls.

Junsu sped up, legs spreading for better leverage, while screaming and cursing and shouting Yoochun’s name as he came. Yoochun gagged on the sudden surge of come in his mouth and swallowed what he could before pulling away and letting Junsu pump the rest of his release out onto his stomach.

Yoochun licked his lips, smiling down at Junsu’s twitching body, chest heaving with his gasps. “You better have woken up the neighbors,” Yoochun whispered and kissed his hip bone.

Junsu laughed breathlessly. “I hope so.”

“You’re gorgeous, did you know that?”

Junsu smiled and nodded. “I’m learning that.”

Yoochun slid up his body and kissed his lips softly.

“That was so much better than jerking off on my own.”

Yoochun laughed. “Yes, it was. Let’s go take a shower.”

Junsu hooked his arms around Yoochun’s neck and a foot around his knee. They both shuddered as sensitive erections slid along slick skin.

“Take me out,” Junsu said.

Yoochun raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“A date. Take me on a date.”

Yoochun chuckled. “Watching dramas again today?”

Junsu pouted.

Yoochun pressed a kiss to his lips. “Okay, okay. Right now?”

“Yes.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Date things.”

Yoochun laughed again. “Okay. Let’s go clean up and we’ll go on a date.”

“Good.”

\---

Yoochun took Junsu to a coffee shop because it was a normal spot for first dates. And because he needed caffeine. Junsu ordered a sugary pumpkin spiced latte with whipped cream and a blueberry coffee cake. Yoochun ordered black drip coffee and smiled when Junsu called it boring.

Junsu paid and they found a table to sit at with their legs wrapped together.

Yoochun noticed the glances they received. Junsu did not, and Yoochun forced himself to ignore them, to smile at Junsu’s bubbling gorgeous face and teach him about dating.

“Is it really so awkward?” Junsu asked. “What’s so hard about asking someone out?”

“They could say no. Rejection is painful.”

Junsu frowned and nodded. “That’s true.”

“It hurts when you more or less throw yourself in front of someone, gather up all the courage to say, ‘hey, I like you, let’s go out’ and then have them say no.”

“So you’ve been rejected?”

“Plenty of times.”

“What keeps you asking?”

“Huh?”

Junsu looked out the window and sipped on his drink. “If rejection is so painful, then why do people keep asking?”

Yoochun smiled and reached his hand over the table. Junsu looked at it, smiled and thread their fingers together. There was a disgusted scoff from the table next to them. Junsu glanced over, but Yoochun did not, tugging on his hand for his attention.

“You keep asking because the happiness of being loved and accepted is a way better feeling and much stronger than the sting of rejection.”

Junsu smiled widely and then frowned out the window. “I see what you mean now about being gay.”

Yoochun sighed. “Yeah.”

“People have been glaring at us since we sat down. Why don’t they mind their own business?”

“It’s a sin.”

“Sin?”

“Yeah, religion.”

“Oh. I’m not sure I understand that.”

“My uncle wasn’t religious?”

Junsu gave him a look that made Yoochun smile against the rim of his coffee cup.

“You aren’t religious,” Yoochun said, “but you were still shouting out for god earlier this morning.”

Junsu laughed, the loud, happy noise echoing through the cafe.

Yoochun chuckled with him. He broke off a piece of muffin and reached over the table. Junsu took it with his lips, eyes still shining and happy.

“Let’s get out of here,” Yoochun said.

Junsu nodded and stood up. Yoochun led the way out of the cafe and as soon as they were outside, he draped his arm around Junsu’s shoulder, something he wouldn’t have ever done in the past, even with Jaejoong.

Junsu’s arm snaked around his middle.

“Now what do you want to do on our date?” Yoochun asked.

“Can we go shopping again?” Junsu asked. “Is that a date?”

“Not normally.”

“So it’s perfect for us.”

Yoochun laughed. “Yes. Why do you want to go shopping again?”

“Everyone on TV has such nice clothes and even you do in your closet and I just have jeans and t-shirts and I want shirts and slacks and jackets.”

Yoochun laughed again. “Okay. We’ll go shopping, but we may have to wait until next month until you can get other things.”

“Why?”

Yoochun bit his lip as guilt flooded over him. He took a deep breath.

“Did you spend some of the money?”

“Your money,” Yoochun said and nodded. “Yes. The first day. I paid ... I paid some bills I didn’t have the money for.”

Junsu frowned and took a sip of his latte and then he shrugged. “That’s okay. I mean ... I don’t want you to feel guilty because you’re helping me and I would have given it to you if you’d asked, but the first day was ... yeah, so it’s okay. I’m not upset.”

Yoochun swallowed, but did not reply, still angry at himself.

Junsu stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and shoved Yoochun out of the flow of pedestrians. He wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck and kissed him quickly.

“It’s okay,” Junsu said. “I’m not working and you have to pay rent and you have bills and things. It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Yoochun said. “Nothing about this is okay.”

Junsu frowned and, then he smirked and moved closer, rolling his hips just a little bit. “Nothing?”

Yoochun shut his eyes with a moan. “Okay. So part of it is okay.”

Junsu laughed and tugged at his hand. “Come on. I want to dress up and be pretty for our next date when we go to a fancy restaurant like those in the dramas.”

Yoochun laughed and followed after him.

\---

By the end of the afternoon, they had a coffee date, a shopping date, a lunch date, a movie date and a walk-through-the-park date all in one. In the park, Yoochun spotted an ice cream stand and they bought popsicles which turned into a cliche moment of not being able to control himself while Junsu sucked on a popsicle, his lips turning a brighter shade of red.

Yoochun mentally made a note to buy popsicles for the apartment and dragged Junsu home for the perfect end of the perfect date where he licked up popsicle juice mixed with come from Junsu’s skin and only stopped kissing and touching Junsu when he reminded Yoochun that he had to go to work.

And when he got home from work, he did not stop himself from waking Junsu up with a blowjob and mentally smirking while swallowing Junsu's release because there was no way the neighbors could have slept through Junsu screaming his name.


	7. Feelings

A few nights later, Yoochun asked, “Do you want to go to work with me?”

Junsu lifted his head, mouth popping off Yoochun’s nipple with a smack. “Huh?”

“I have to go to work,” he turned his head and found the clock, “in an hour. Do you want to come with me?”

“Why?”

Yoochun shrugged. “To see where I work, and to meet my friend Hyunjoong. He’s been bitching at me to meet you. And to get you out of this small apartment. You spend too much time here.”

“But ... I won’t bother you?”

Yoochun smiled and ran his finger down Junsu’s cheek. “I’m sure you’ll distract me if only because I can’t keep my eyes off you.”

Junsu laughed and launched himself up to Yoochun’s lips for a kiss. “That was the sweetest and most horrible line I have ever heard, and I watch dramas all day.”

Yoochun chuckled. “Part of my charm. So? Do you want to go? You can bring a writing book and practice reading the menus and signs all over the bar.”

Junsu nodded. “Okay. But we don’t have to leave yet, right?”

“No.”

“Good,” Junsu whispered and slinked back down Yoochun’s body. He ran his tongue around Yoochun’s bellybutton. “You interrupted my fun.”

Yoochun tangled a hand in Junsu’s hair and moaned while Junsu had fun.

\---

When Junsu came out of the bathroom, wearing Yoochun’s jeans, the black ones from the first time they’d gone out, the ones that were too tight, too revealing, too perfect for his ass, Yoochun’s mind went blank and it took a long time to process that Junsu wore his “Fuck Me” t-shirt along with the sinfully, gorgeous, beautiful tight jeans.

“No way,” Yoochun managed, voice soft and rough. “No way. Go change.”

Junsu smiled. “No. I want to wear this.”

“No way. I work ... I work in a shady gay bar and too many men will take you up on that offer.”

Junsu continued to smile and walked toward him. He wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s neck. “What about you? Would you take me up on this offer?”

“Oh god,” Yoochun murmured and leaned down for a kiss.

Junsu pulled away. “You can, you know? Don’t go into work. Call in sick. Let’s fuck instead.”

Yoochun shivered. He could. He didn’t really need the money. Not from just one night. And if Junsu was going to help pay rent and his bills, and ... if his body moved while fucking in the same way that it did while giving or receiving a blow job, then Yoochun was pretty sure their fuck would be over in enough time to still make their bus, but one time wasn’t going to be enough. Yoochun wanted to bury his cock inside Junsu’s ass and never climb out.

He jerked himself away from Junsu. “Go change, please.”

“Fine, fine, but I’m wearing these jeans.” Junsu turned and headed toward the bathroom.

“Junsu.”

He smirked over his shoulder and ran his hand over his plump ass. “You pick. I change the jeans. Or I change the shirt.”

Yoochun swallowed roughly. “S-shirt.”

“Good choice.”

He _sauntered_ the rest of the way to the bathroom. Yoochun rubbed his face harshly and tried to will away his erection with thoughts of the ahjumma.

When Junsu re-emerged again, the urge for Yoochun just to say fuck it and drag him to the bed was even stronger. He wore a blue button down shirt that he’d bought the day before and one of Yoochun’s nicer suit jackets.

“Better?” Junsu asked and turned in a circle.

“Yes. No. Want ... fuck ... “

Junsu laughed, practically skipped over to him, and kissed him. “Let’s go. We’re going to miss the bus.”

\---

Junsu held court at the far corner table. Yoochun had no other way to describe it. He sat on one booth with Yunho’s arm around him, another man on his other side and three men across from them. Two men had pulled stools from the bar over to join in the conversation. Junsu’s laughter rang out over the music every now and then.

Yoochun did not know what they talked about, but the men were more than eager to teach Junsu how to spell dirty words and write sentences like, “Shove your fingers inside me while I suck on your cock.”

Yunho stole kisses on Junsu’s neck and ear, his hands constantly under the table, probably palming Junsu through his slacks if Junsu’s sighs and moments of shutting his eyes was any indication.

“He’s cute,” Hyunjoong said, not for the first time.

Yoochun smiled. “Yeah. I know.”

“How does he fuck?”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, we haven’t gotten there yet.”

“Yet.”

“Yes, yet.”

Hyunjoong smirked at him and piled drinks onto a tray to take to the table of men. Yoochun leaned over the bar to flirt with a new customer, his smiles easy and genuine. Men came and went from Junsu’s table, and as always, Yunho grew handsy-er as he grew drunker. Yoochun kept his eye on him, but knew that Yunho wouldn’t do anything mean.

“So,” Hyunjoong said and handed Yoochun a shot during a lull in customers. “I’ve been thinking.”

Yoochun took the shot and said, “Should I make the obvious comment that comes from you and thinking in the same sentence?”

Hyunjoong smirked. “This boy you have.”

“What about him?”

Hyunjoong leaned against the counter on the back and crossed his arms. “It’s a little too convenient that you met him right when your uncle died.”

Yoochun swallowed. “Yeah, so?”

“He’s in his twenties, but he can’t read, seems to not know anything about the world. He was your uncle’s pet, wasn’t he?”

Yoochun thought about lying, but stayed quiet too long.

Hyunjoong’s smirk widened.

Yoochun sighed. “Yeah. He was.”

“And now he’s your pet?”

“No! I’m helping him.” Yoochun told Hyunjoong about the lawyer, the will, and the last few weeks (minus the sexy parts).

Hyunjoong nodded. “That definitely seems like something you would do. Save all the puppies. Recycle. Clean up the world. Save the whales.”

“Shut up. I wasn't just going to throw him out.”

“I know. Just giving you a hard time. So are you dating?”

Yoochun shrugged. “Not really. I mean, we fool around a little because he wants to--”

“So do you.”

“--but I’m trying to teach him enough to live on his own, right now. He can’t rely on me for the rest of his life.”

Hyunjoong was still nodding. “I totally get that, but I still think you should tap that. Especially if he’s willing.”

“Maybe.”

“Yoochun-ah!”

Yoochun turned to the tables and smiled at Junsu who was waving him over.

“Take a break,” Hyunjoong said. “We’re not busy.”

Yoochun nodded his thanks and went over to the table. Junsu sat almost in Yunho’s lap, one leg thrown over his thigh. Yunho’s hand slid up the seam of the tight jeans, fingers edging closer and closer to Junsu’s obviously firm erection.

“Yunho-shi says that you kiss him all the time.”

Yoochun sat next to Yunho and leaned over to press a lingering kiss on his cheek pulling a whimper from Yunho. “I do indeed.”

“Why?” Junsu asked with a pout. “Yunho-shi is married.”

“I know that. A kiss is nothing, Junsu.”

Junsu bit his lower lip and Yunho leaned over with a moan to kiss it away. But Junsu turned his head away.

“If you don’t want him to kiss you just say so. Yunho is nice. He won’t do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But ... I thought ... we ... Us.”

Yoochun understood and frowned. “It’s only been a few days, Junsu.”

“I know, but ... “

Yoochun leaned over Yunho’s lap, pulled Junsu to him with a firm hand on the back of his neck. Their lips met, and Yunho moaned. Yoochun felt Junsu smile and he deepened the kiss, giving Yunho a show of lips, teeth, and tongues.

“Do you want to press the boundaries of what is legal and not legal at this bar?” Yoochun asked.

“Oh god yes, please,” Yunho begged.

Junsu bit his lip in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“This is not a sex club,” Yoochun said and let his hand drop to Yunho’s lap. He pressed the heel of his palm firmly down on Yunho’s erection and twisted his hand. Yunho moaned, slouching lower. One arm pulled at Yoochun’s hip. Yoochun fought his own moan. Yunho’s cock was gorgeous, thick and long. More than once, he had stroked off to thoughts of Yunho fucking him with his monster of an erection.

Junsu looked at Yunho and said cautiously, “Do you do this every night?”

Yoochun smiled and licked at the side of Yunho’s mouth. “No. Only when Yunho is being a very good boy.”

Yunho whimpered. “Please, please.”

“And he’s been good, hasn’t he, Junsu? He’s helping you read and write, and buying you drinks.” Yoochun gripped Yunho’s erection through his slacks and squeezed roughly.

“I have, please, I’ve been good,” Yunho gasped. “I’m a good boy. I am.”

Junsu took a very deep breath.

“Help me get him off,” Yoochun whispered.

“H-how?” Junsu asked.

“He likes biting,” Yoochun said. “Softly, don’t leave marks.” He demonstrated by nipping at Yunho’s taut neck. “Technically, no clothes are allowed to come off. So as much as I would love to drop under the table and suck Yunho’s thick cock into my mouth, I could get fired.”

“You could get fired for this,” Yunho pointed out, still breathless and needy. He squirmed under Yoochun’s ministrations.

“Yes,” Yoochun said, “but I won’t. And Yunho is a voyeur, Su-ah. He loves watching us kiss each other.”

Junsu smiled and leaned into Yoochun. “It’s a good thing I like kissing you.”

“Yes, it is,” Yoochun said just before their lips met again.

“Oh, god, please, please,” Yunho whimpered and gasped while Yoochun massaged his cock and kissed Junsu deeply.

“You’re being too noisy,” Yoochun said and broke away from Junsu’s lips with a wet slurp that had Yunho’s cock pulsing under his hand. Yoochun loosened Yunho’s tie, just enough to lift it over his chin and into his mouth where he tightened it back up. “Technically, it’s not off,” Yoochun said and smirked. “Be a good boy and watch, okay?”

Yunho nodded frantically.

Yoochun tugged at Junsu, half pulling him over Yunho’s lap. Quietly, he said, “If you can get a hand in his pants, do it. We are covered enough that no one will see.”

Yunho moaned and lifted his hips into Junsu’s tentative touch. Yoochun kissed Yunho’s neck, biting faint red marks into his skin. He moaned into Yunho’s ear, licking at the lobe and outer edge. Yunho gasped behind the gag, trying to thrust up into Junsu’s hand. Yoochun looked down and smiled. Junsu had gotten Yunho’s cock out of his pants through the zipper and he pumped him slowly.

“So hot, hyung,” Yoochun whispered. “Want to take you home with us. Want to fuck you from behind while you suck on Junsu’s cock. Do you want that?”

Yunho whimpered.

Junsu twisted in his lap for a better angle, but from the bar, it would only look like he moved to suck on Yunho’s jaw. “Know what I want?” Junsu whispered. “I want to fuck you while Yoochun fucks me.”

“Oh god, yes,” Yoochun moaned, his dick pulsing in his jeans. Just thinking of gripping Junsu’s plump ass and plowing into him, forcing him into Yunho had him ready to come.

And Yunho. It was only another minute of Junsu moaning into his ear, sexy things that Yoochun could not hear before Yunho was coming. Yoochun covered his mouth with his hand, muffling the loud shout and moans while Yunho shot his release over all three of them, dampening their clothes with a sticky white mess.

“Such a good boy,” Yoochun whispered and pulled at the tie to kiss Yunho’s pliant, open mouth. A moment later, Junsu was there, licking at both of their tongues and lips. Yoochun moaned and turned his head enough to kiss Junsu properly. “Want you,” Yoochun whispered, only half for the show they just put on for Yunho. “Want you so bad.”

“When we get home?” Junsu asked.

Yoochun nodded. “Maybe. God, if I manage to last until we get home.” He shifted and adjusted his erection. Junsu reached over and squeezed him through his pants. “Fuck.”

“Take me home with you,” Yunho begged.

Yoochun laughed. “Nope. Not tonight. I have to get back to work.”

Junsu pouted and put both of his hands around Yoochun’s neck. “Already?”

Yoochun smiled and kissed him, almost pulling him off Yunho’s lap and into his own. “Yes. My shift will be over soon. Have more drinks. Snuggle up with Yunho. He likes to snuggle a lot.”

Yunho voiced his agreement.

Junsu smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Yoochun’s mouth. “Okay. Go away. Go be sexy behind that bar. I like watching you work.”

It took all of Yoochun’s will power to extricate himself from Junsu’s arms to do as he was told. When he got back to the bar, Hyunjoong smiled at him. “That was beyond obvious what you just did to Yunho.”

“Maybe. You going to rat me out?”

“Of course not. There’s come on your jeans.”

“Which will increase my tips for the rest of the night.”

“Probably.” Hyunjoong yanked Yoochun to him by his belt loops and kissed him deeply, smirking when the patrons at the bar whooped at them. “I need some tips, too.”

Yoochun laughed.

\---

Yunho offered them a chance to share his cab, and Yoochun took him up on that. He wanted to be home, sooner rather than later. He allowed Yunho to kiss him and Junsu goodnight despite the cab driver’s disgust. He held Junsu’s hand on the way up the stairs. His head was pleasantly buzzed and Junsu could not stop smiling.

Yoochun loved it. They collided as soon as the door shut behind them, kissing and tugging at clothes. Junsu giggled into each kiss, and giggled when Yoochun wrapped his arms around his waist, giggled when Yoochun cupped his ass.

“How drunk are you?” Yoochun asked between kisses.

“Drunk. Yunho said cute things are cuter when they are drunk and he bought me lots of drinks.”

“And more willing.”

“Yeah. He ... he said that, too. God, Yoo-Yoo ... Chunnie-ah, fuck.”

Yoochun chuckled and led them both to the bed. Junsu dropped back, arms spread and moaned. Yoochun peeled the jeans from his body and took off his clothes, leaving them both naked. He crawled over Junsu’s body, pressing kisses up and down his chest and thighs.

“Ugh, wait,” Junsu said and pushed at his shoulders.

“What?” Yoochun asked and kissed him deeply.

“Don’t ... don’t want ... don’t want to do this drunk. Everything is twisty.”

Yoochun smiled. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. It’s not like you’ll be gone in the morning.”

Junsu giggled again.

Yoochun was not sure what was funny about that statement.

“You’ll fuck me in the morning?” Junsu asked.

“Later in the morning. It’s almost four a.m.”

Junsu nodded. “Okay. Later. More kisses though.”

\-----

Yoochun woke up with the sun glaring into his face. He growled at his pillow and tugged the blanket. It didn’t move, and Yoochun curled onto his side, to press against Junsu, but he wasn’t there. Blearily, Yoochun opened his eyes and lifted his head.

  


Junsu sat at the window, legs drawn up, arms around his knees. He wore boxers and that was all. Yoochun blinked the sleep from his eyes and pulled himself over, close enough to force his arms around Junsu’s stomach and lay his head at his hip.

Junsu smiled down at him and unfolded, giving Yoochun more room. He trailed fingertips down Yoochun’s back.

“Good morning,” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun grunted in response. He had never been a morning person.

“You like me, right, Yoochun-ah?”

“Of course,” Yoochun said, voice still rough with sleep.

“I ... I ...”

Yoochun lifted his head. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I do know, but I don’t know. I thought we ... I thought you ...”

Yoochun pushed himself up. Slightly distracted by Junsu’s collarbones, he pressed a kiss to his warm skin and said, “Is this about last night? With Yunho?”

“Yes, no. Mostly.” Junsu sighed. “I know you keep saying this isn’t normal, but ... but I want normal. I want normal with you.”

Yoochun sat up and wrapped his arms around Junsu’s shoulders, pulling him close. “I’m trying to give you normal. And not just normal in terms of dating and sex. That’s only one aspect of life. You need a job and a life and friends and you need to learn and go to college even, and ... I’m trying to help you get all these things.”

“I know. And I appreciate that. Why can’t we ... why can’t ... why can’t we be together while I do everything else?”

“I know I keep saying this, but life isn’t the way it is portrayed in dramas.”

“I know that,” Junsu snapped and tried to pull away from Yoochun’s body.

Yoochun held him tightly and sighed. He pressed a kiss to Junsu’s bare shoulder. “Honestly?”

Junsu stopped his half-hearted struggle and turned.

Yoochun let him. He took both of Junsu’s hands and brought them up to his hands to kiss his knuckles. “Remember what I said last week, about rejection and acceptance?”

“Yes, but Yoochun, I ... I didn’t reject you. I ... Ask me out properly. I’ll say yes.”

Yoochun smiled. “I know you will, but that’s now. What about ... what about later? After you’ve got a job and friends and ... once you have all those things, there’s nothing to keep you here.”

“You are a stupid man.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I! You think that I’d just leave you, walk away, from you, after all you’ve done for me?”

“I would hate it if you were with me just because you felt you had to be.”

Junsu opened his mouth and then shut it, obviously remembering what Yoochun had told him about his relationship with Jaejoong. Jaejoong had been with him just because he thought he had to be.

“I don’t want you to be with me because I am helping you,” Yoochun continued.

“I know. I’m not. Well, maybe right now, but later ...”

“Don’t make a promise you might end up breaking.”

“Stop turning me into an ungrateful asshole when I’ve done nothing wrong,” Junsu said back.

Yoochun took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I--”

“You’re trying to protect yourself, I know. You’re ... Yunho-shi says that you do this a lot. You turn into yourself and close yourself off from possibilities because you’re afraid of getting hurt again and if you don’t get close to anyone then they can’t hurt you.”

Yoochun took another deep breath to tamper down his irritation. If anyone else had said that, Yoochun would have lashed out at them, but this was Junsu, and Junsu ... Junsu wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t blind to people or situations. He was learning.

That was the whole point.

Yoochun nodded. “I’m terrified of being hurt again,” he whispered. “When Jaejoong left ... I had nothing when he left. Nothing. I don’t want that again.”

Junsu cupped his cheeks and kissed him. “I like you. I like everything about you except the smoking.”

Yoochun smiled. “I like you, too.”

“Stop kissing Yunho.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “You do know he gave us both fifty thousand won for that handjob, right?”

“And now we’re prostitutes, but I’m pretty sure they make more money. Stop kissing Yunho.”

Yoochun shook his head. “I can’t promise you that. It’s part of my job. If I suddenly changed my behavior at work, the men would stop coming in and I could lose that job. I need that job.”

Junsu pouted. “Fine, fine, but for every kiss Yunho gets, I get five. And I expect you to start paying up right now, even for all the ones in the past.”

Yoochun laughed and shifted to slink down Junsu’s body. “Do these kisses have to be on your mouth?” he asked before kissing just above Junsu’s nipple and going down toward his hip.

Breathless, Junsu shook his head.

“Good.”


	8. Bodies

Yoochun kissed his way down Junsu’s stomach, smiling at each jerk of muscle under his lips. His skin felt fresh and clean, like he had showered before Yoochun woke up. It was an addicting taste and touch.

Junsu’s shaky hands settled in his long hair, breath speeding up. Yoochun tugged at the boxers, and Junsu bent his knees to let Yoochun take them off. He swirled his tongue around the head of Junsu’s erection, tugging at the piercing with his lips, before dragging it down the shaft and to his tight balls. He pushed at Junsu’s thighs, spreading them enough to suck on his testicles. His skin was dusted with coarse hair, like it had been growing back in the last two weeks. Yoochun liked it. He ran his hands from knee to inner thigh.

“Tell me what you like,” Yoochun whispered, lips against his inner thigh.

Junsu moaned.

“Come on, tell me what you want. I am not going to just do whatever I want to you.”

Junsu bit his lip. “But I ... I ...”

Yoochun moved back up his body, laying kisses on his skin until he was close enough to kiss Junsu’s lips. Junsu’s legs wrapped around his body. “What do you like most?” he asked, running his fingers down the back of Junsu’s thigh.

“Besides kissing?”

Yoochun smiled. “Yes.”

Junsu squirmed.

“Come on, tell me. Don’t make me make it an order.”

Junsu’s eyes widened and then he gasped, head thrown back.

“God, I keep forgetting how much you like being ordered around, because you do like it? Don’t you?”

“Yes, yes, yes, I like it. I like it.”

“So then tell me.”

“But ... but, I’m not clean. I need ... it’s been weeks.”

And Yoochun understood. “You just showered?”

“Yes, but ... but ... you can’t. Not until ...”

Yoochun smiled and kissed him quickly. “I can.”

“You can’t.”

With a short laugh, Yoochun shimmied down the bed. He gripped Junsu’s knees and pushed them up. Junsu quickly held them with his hands, splaying his legs, hips spread. Yoochun licked his lips. His fingers curled around Junsu’s balls, tugging lightly, before he went back to the shaft of his erection.

“This isn’t what you want, is it?” Yoochun asked, moving his mouth up to flick the piercing with his tongue.

Junsu whimpered. His fingernails dug into his knees.

Yoochun licked down the side of his erection, over the bend of his hip and to the curves of his ass. “Am I getting closer?”

Junsu moaned.

“If you tell me what you want, I’m sure I’d get there faster.”

Junsu’s lips twitched in a smile that turned to another moan when Yoochun sucked a section of flesh into his mouth and bit down.

Yoochun moved over, pressing at Junsu’s thighs. His body curled, giving Yoochun a perfect shot at his ass. He took both hands, spread them over Junsu’s ass and opened him up for his tongue. The pink opening twitched in anticipation.

Yoochun scraped his finger over it and then pressed against the crinkled skin softly. “Is this what you want?”

“Please! Please! please!”

Yoochun chuckled and leaned forward enough to lightly touch his tongue to Junsu’s body.

“Fuck please!”

Yoochun adjusted his body, shifting to the right angle to keep Junsu spread open with his hands, and his body firm against the bed. He licked, tongue sliding over the whorled skin. Junsu almost shot off the bed, screaming with each touch of Yoochun’s tongue. With a smirk, Yoochun used his thumbs, fingers curled around the plump curves, and spread Junsu more. He added pressure to his entrance, pushing his tongue against the opening firmly. He used his fingers to massage his ass at the same time. With long licks and little flicks, Yoochun slowly drove him mad.

If that’s what the whimpering and screeching indicated.

Yoochun pressed his thumb against his entrance lightly and licked above it. It took a bit of maneuvering to suck the skin into his mouth, but based on the scream from Junsu, it was worth it. He pushed harder, forcing the tip of his thumb into Junsu’s tight entrance.

“Fuck, please, please.”

Yoochun chuckled and moved his mouth, leaving hickys on Junsu’s ass while popping his thumb in and out of his body. He shuddered and a hand landed in Yoochun’s hair, tugging, urging, begging for more.

Yoochun slicked up a middle finger with spit and pushed it into Junsu’s body. Junsu moaned, half-formed protests turning to little whimpers of pleasure. Yoochun sucked Junsu’s balls, moving his finger and twisting it.

“Okay?” Yoochun whispered with his lips against the twitching shaft of Junsu’s erection.

Junsu moaned. “Yes, yes, more. Please. More.”

“Be right back.”

Junsu groaned in disappointment.

Yoochun laughed and scooted to the end of the bed where he could reach the drawer where he kept his lube. It’d been disappearing faster than usual lately. He watched Junsu watch him cover his fingers in lube. Junsu’s chest was heaving, fingers still leaving divots on his thighs, and skin twitching. The bites and marks on his ass were bright red against his paler skin.

Yoochun shuffled back between his legs. His clean hand went to the bed beside Junsu’s head. His fingers easily found Junsu’s begging opening, pulsing and spasming. Yoochun kissed him, swallowing the moan as fingers pressed into him. Two of them. Junsu eagerly met each kiss, each touch, each moan. His legs wrapped around Yoochun’s body, heels digging into his back so he could thrust down on Yoochun’s fingers.

“Please, god, please.”

“What do you want, sexy?” Yoochun whispered, dropping kissing down Junsu’s chin.

“Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please, please.”

Yoochun stopped moving and Junsu groaned. “You sure?”

“Yes, please.” He tangled his hands in Yoochun’s hair, pulling his lips back for a kiss.

Yoochun moaned and his cock throbbed. He used his sticky hand and slicked himself up. With Junsu’s tongue in his mouth, it was a bit hard to focus on getting his cock positioned. The head slipped over Junsu’s entrance and Yoochun shivered, holding himself steady and pushing forward. Junsu broke away from his mouth, body arching into the thrust. His ankles dug into Yoochun’s lower back.

Yoochun groaned, eyes shutting as he pulled out and pushed back in Junsu’s pulsing entrance until their bodies were pressed together. Junsu gasped, and Yoochun left soft kisses on his lips and cheeks until he was smiling.

“Move.”

Yoochun ground his hips down, pulling another deep moan from Junsu’s throat. “You sure?”

“God, yes, fuck me.”

Yoochun pulled out almost all the way and thrust back in. Junsu nodded, begging for more, and Yoochun gave him more. He shifted to his knees, holding Junsu’s thighs and thrust fast.

“Touch yourself, Junsu, come on, baby, I want to watch you come while I fuck you.”

Junsu moaned and wrapped a shaking hand on his erection. He stroked in time to Yoochun’s thrusts, even when Yoochun faltered at a strong wave of pleasure through his body. Junsu writhed beneath him, whimpers and moans echoing in the small room. His eyes squeezed shut, tears of lust dripped over his skin.

Yoochun fought the urge to speed up. Not yet, not now. He kept his thrusts steady, watching as Junsu twitched and moaned. His back arched off the bed, yanking Yoochun forward and he fell above him, Junsu’s knees locked at his elbows. Their lips met easily and Yoochun sped up a little because kissing while fucking was one of his favorite things. Junsu’s hands gripped his back, nails digging into his skin. Yoochun sucked hickys into his neck, down to his collarbones, and Junsu’s whimpers turned pleading.

“Please, please, come, need. Please, please.”

Yoochun pushed up and gripped Junsu’s erection. He smiled and slowed his thrusts but sped up with his hand. Each twist of his hand over the head of his dick caused his body to clamp down around him and Junsu’s cries echoed through the room.

“Let me come, let me come.”

Yoochun touched his cheek. “New rule, remember? Come whenever you want. If you want to come, then come.”

“God, oh fucking god. Yes! Fuck!”

Yoochun froze, buried inside Junsu, and stroked him, watching his face twist with pleasure and then freeze for a moment before shattering. His cock pulsed in Yoochun’s hand and the first spurt of come landed almost to his neck. He shuddered through his release, moaning Yoochun’s name.

Belatedly, Yoochun realized that Junsu had left scratches on his shoulder and down his arm. He didn’t exactly mind.

“Do you mind if I keep going?” Yoochun whispered and leaned over him for a kiss. “I won’t take much longer. Your body is gorgeous.”

Junsu shook his head, cheeks flushing.

Yoochun hitched his leg up, hooking his knee at his own elbow. He thrust quickly and kept his mouth near Junsu’s, sharing breaths and licking at his lips until he shuddered and came, Junsu’s body yanking his orgrasm from him in heavy pulses.

“Still think we shouldn’t have done it?” Junsu asked.

Yoochun’s lifted his head, mind and hearing muffled from the pleasure still coursing through him. Junsu’s channel suddenly tightened around him, and Yoochun moaned and rocked his hips.

Junsu traced fingertips over Yoochun’s back and into his hair. He pulled Yoochun to his lips for a kiss. “I like you, Yoochun. I like you a lot.”

Yoochun smiled. “I like you, too.”

\---

“You sure it looks okay?” Junsu asked and tugged at the lighter blonde locks of his hair. They had just visited a hair salon to start the process of making Junsu’s hair blonde. He hadn’t wanted black, but definitely wanted something besides the pink he had been sporting under Yoochun’s uncle’s care.

Yoochun laughed. “Yes! You could shave your head and you’d still be very attractive.”

Junsu made a face and Yoochun leaned over the table to kiss his pout away. He heard a disgusted scoff from next to them. He tried not to let it bother them. Junsu’s lips twisted in a smirk.

Just loud enough, he said, “Want you to fuck me on this table.”

Whoever was next to them got up in a hurry and bumped Yoochun on their way through the cafe.

Junsu chuckled. “It’s actually kind of funny how disgusted people are by things that don’t actually matter in their life. What does it matter if I want that? It only matters to him if I actually strip down and have you fuck me over this table.”

“And we’ll probably go to jail.

“And be banned from you favorite coffee shop forever.”

Yoochun smiled. “Yeah, that’s worse than jail. Guess I’ll wait until we get back home to fuck you.”

Junsu laughed. “We should do that now. You have to go to work soon.”

With lips close enough to kiss, Yoochun asked, “You want me to fuck you again today?”

“Yes. All day.”

Yoochun nodded. “Yeah. That sounds like a fabulous plan. Let’s go.” He stood up and held out his hand. Junsu took it with another laugh and then immediately curled up against Yoochun’s side.

Yoochun glanced around and then decided that the only important person in the world was Junsu and everyone else could fuck off. He put his arm around Junsu’s shoulder and held him tightly as they walked down the street. They were almost at the bus stop when Yoochun saw something he never thought he’d see again.

He stopped walking and stared.

It was weird, how much different and how much the same someone looked after four years of never seeing them. How someone he used to see every day looked just the same and yet so very different.

And still so very perfect.

Jaejoong’s hair was a dark blond that contrasted sharply with the black clothes head-to-toe. Tight jeans, a fitted coat, boots. He walked purposefully, and Yoochun wondered if the harsh look on his face was normal irritation or if something happened to him. He still used too much BB cream. He still had eyeliner darkening his gaze. He looked every inch the model he always wanted to be.

Their eyes met, and Jaejoong stopped. Yoochun saw his lips move, mouth his name. Did he whisper it? His face held an expression of shock, one that Yoochun hadn’t seen often, but he did get to see it more often than others. Jaejoong had held his emotions in check around everyone but Yoochun. He’d seen him smile so much. He’d seen him cry. He’d seen him love and hurt and scream.

But he had been played worse than anyone else that had always called Jaejoong “cold.” Ultimately it was Yoochun who would have given anything for the mask back, for the indifference.

And then Jaejoong smiled and headed toward them. Was he actually happy to see Yoochun? Was it just another act?

The arm around his waist tightened. “Yoochun?” Junsu whispered.

Yoochun pried his eyes from the vision that still showed up in his dreams and glanced over at Junsu’s concerned face. He smiled, and Junsu smiled, eyes shining brightly up at him, and then faced Jaejoong again just as he was close enough to talk.

“Yoochun,” Jaejoong said, stopping in front of them. It looked like he was going to touch him, and then he didn’t. Yoochun felt his heart clench. Jaejoong had always been so touchy, so close. It was part of the reason why Yoochun did not mind when people touched him. He was so used to always being touched. Though Jaejoong’s touch (and now Junsu’s) were different than the touches of the men at the bar. He missed Jaejoong’s touch.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Jaejoong cleared his throat and stammered, “U-um, hi.”

“Hi.”

Jaejoong glanced at Junsu, and Yoochun cleared his throat. “Oh, uh. Yeah. Junsu. This is Jaejoong.”

Junsu choked on his next breath. “Oh.”

“Um, yeah, sorry,” Jaejoong said and took a step back. “I didn’t mean ... I just wanted to ... say hi ... You’re okay? ... It’s good that you’re okay, I mean, not that you wouldn’t be, but I heard ... you just ... you look good.”

Yoochun smiled. “It’s fine. It’s good to see you. You look good, too.”

“Sexy,” Junsu added.

Jaejoong looked at him in confusion.

“You are. I see why Yoochun liked you so much.”

“It wasn’t for his looks, Su-ah,” Yoochun said quickly. Probably too quickly.

“I’m sure they were a perk. Weren’t you on a billboard for Evisu jeans last week?”

Jaejoong smiled. “Yeah.”

“These aren’t Evisu,” Junsu said and turned around to show off his ass in a way that was obvious to all three of them, “but they are cut the same. I love the way they fit.”

“They look good on you.”

“Thanks.”

Jaejoong met Yoochun’s eyes. “Well, it’s ... it’s nice to see you, Yoochun. I ... yeah ... I’m meeting someone, and I’m late, so I have to go, but it was good to see you.”

“You, too,” Yoochun said.

This time, Jaejoong reached over and gripped his shoulder, just for a moment, and then he moved past them, and Yoochun would have turned and watched him walk away again, but Junsu’s arm tightened around his waist and he walked, forcing Yoochun to move with him.

He was in a bit of a daze, aware of Junsu’s arms around him, aware of his own arm around Junsu’s shoulder. He was aware of people and then the bus. He was aware of Junsu’s fingers gripping his while they rode home in silence.

Yoochun went right to the fridge when they arrived back at the small apartment. But there wasn’t any soju, beer, or whiskey. Just juice. With no vodka or rum to sweeten and dull the tightness in his chest. He drank it anyway and then went to the window, ripping down the blanket and hurting his finger when he pushed up the pane.

He leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette. The cigarette burned in his lungs, and he realized that he had been smoking less of them lately.

“Yoochun?” Junsu whispered.

“I thought ...” Yoochun blew a cloud of smoke out the window with a heavy sight. “I thought ... I thought ...”

“You thought what?”

Yoochun shrugged. “I just ... I thought it would have been different.”

“How?’

“Well, I didn’t think you’d be there to show off your ass.”

Junsu smiled and moved closer to him. Yoochun took one more drag and tossed the cigarette out the window just as Junsu kneeled in front of him and ran his hands up Yoochun’s thighs.

“Are you okay?” Junsu asked quietly.

Yoochun rubbed his face with both hands. “I don’t know. I just thought ... it would hurt more, to see him. I mean, it hurts, he’s still gorgeous and obviously okay without me, and I’ve been a mess and why is he allowed to be so perfect when I can’t ... I can’t ... I can’t even get up in the morning without thinking of him. I can’t order a coffee without thinking of his face, how his nose scrunches at the taste whenever he has black coffee. I can’t watch TV without watching his favorite shows and see him laughing, covering his smile, clinging to my shoulder. I can’t even cook. He cooked, and I can’t go to work without thinking of how he used to laugh at me and smile at me and touch me and how it’s so very different than when other people do it ... everything is so different and it was so perfect. We were ... we were ... in love. Why aren’t we in love anymore?”

“Some things just don’t work out,” Junsu said and then he smiled. “Even in dramas.”

Yoochun smiled and sighed. “That’s surprisingly helpful.”

Junsu climbed into his lap, arms around his shoulders and they hugged each other tightly. Yoochun had no idea how long they sat there, how long Junsu held onto him, how long Yoochun tried to make sense of the twisted emotions.

It should have hurt more.

It should have torn him apart.

He should have been drunk off his ass in danger of alcohol poisoning with Hyunjoong keeping him alive and emptying all of his alcohol down the sink.

The only reason he wasn’t dead to the world and sick with grief was in his lap.

Yoochun was sure that wasn’t healthy either, to be so dependent on Junsu. Was he too dependent?

“Don’t dye your hair blond,” Yoochun muttered into his neck.

He felt Junsu smile against his skin. “I won’t.” He pulled away and kissed Yoochun deeply for a few seconds. “You owe me.”

“Sex?”

“Sure, if that’s the way you want to repay me for my helpful advice.”

“You said one thing, big deal.”

Junsu wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled Yoochun into a firm hug. “I do more than that.”

Yoochun hugged him back and buried his face into the warm fabric of his t-shirt. “Thank you.”


	9. People

“Hey, you okay?” Hyunjoong asked.

Yoochun smiled in what he thought was a convincing fashion, but Hyunjoong snorted.

“Okay. Spill.”

Junsu’s laughter carried from the table in the corner that had become his. Yoochun glanced over and this time actually smiled.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re so in love.”

“No, I’m not,” Yoochun said immediately.

“Yes, you are, but what’s wrong with that? Is that why you’re so upset?”

“No, it’s not that.” Yoochun sighed. “I ran into Jaejoong yesterday.”

Hyunjoong bobbled the glass in this hands, spilling alcohol everywhere. “What?” He set the glass down and shook the liquid from his hands. The customer who the drink was for complained loudly and Hyunjoong quickly made him another one, shooting looks at Yoochun that Yoochun ignored and watched Junsu playing court instead with a small smile.

“So?”

Yoochun glanced at him and crossed his arms. He was very aware of the way his shirt was unbuttoned (Junsu’s idea because it showed off his collarbones, a major selling point) and the drooling stares he was getting from the men at the bar. He ran his hand through his loose hair (Junsu’s idea because long hair made him mysterious and feminine) and fought the urge to pull it away from his face.

“So nothing. We said hi. That’s ... that’s about it. Oh, and Junsu showed off his ass.”

“What?”

Yoochun smiled over at Junsu who was looking at him. “Nothing. Like I said. I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“I’m getting there.”

Hyunjoong huffed in frustration.

“Chunnie-ah!” Junsu called. “Bring me a drink.”

Yoochun laughed and quickly filled a glass with a fruity concoction without much alcohol. He brought it to the table and leaned over, hands on the smooth wood. He smiled, and Junsu traced his collarbones with a fingertip.

“Sexy,” Junsu whispered and then grabbed Yoochun’s hair and practically pulled him over the table for a kiss.

Yoochun heard the men cheering them on, but all he cared about was the smiling mouth pressed against his.

“Long hair is a good idea,” Junsu said, and Yunho moaned. “Want you to fuck me on this table.”

Yoochun smirked at the chorus of encouragement. “What is with you and tables, huh?”

Junsu laughed. “Good angles.”

“But weren’t you supposed to practice reading and writing today?”

Junsu pouted. “But--”

“And what did you do today instead? Watched dramas?”

Junsu’s pout deepened and Yoochun fought the urge to kiss it.

“Bad student.” Yoochun caved and licked at Junsu’s pout, pulling away before Junsu could kiss him. “Have fun with your admirers while you can, because when we get home--”

“Are you going to spank me, Teacher?” Junsu asked.

Yoochun laughed. “Maybe. If you be a good boy and study.”

Junsu growled, actually growled, and yanked Yoochun to him for a heavy kiss full of tongues and whimpers until hands slid down Yoochun’s back and gripped his ass. He stood up and leaned against the heated body behind him, ignoring the hands that went down his front, framed his cock a moment before gripping it.

He let the man grope him, eyes on Junsu’s scowling face. With a smile, he turned in the man’s arms and let their lips touch before pulling away. The man’s hands dropped to his ass and cupped firmly

“I have to get back to work,” Yoochun said, head titled back at the angle that showed off his neck.

Lips pressed against his skin and then a tongue went up to his ear. Yoochun shivered. “Such a waste that you don’t get paid to let me fuck you against the bar.”

Yoochun laughed and twisted until he was out of the man’s arms. He went back to the bar and looked over at Junsu. Yunho had him wrapped in his arms, mouth against his neck. But his eyes were on Yoochun. Glaring. Not accusing, but ... promising.

Yoochun gulped. He was in so much trouble.

\---------

A tiny part of Yoochun panicked as Junsu tumbled them onto the bed. They were both tipsy, not drunk, definitely sober enough. But that wasn’t why it was so easy to fall between Junsu’s legs, slide his hands up his firm thighs, bite and suck hickys into his neck. Too soon. Too fast. Too ... too good.

Yoochun moaned and rocked his body against Junsu’s, mouth attached to his throat. Junsu threw his head back with a cry, fingers digging into Yoochun’s back.

“Naked, naked, naked.”

_Too soon. Too much._

Yoochun lifted away and stripped Junsu of his clothes. He pressed the bottle of lube into Yoochun’s hand and moaned, “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me.”

Yoochun cursed, hands fumbling with his belt and button of the jeans. He pushed them down, dumped lube on his cock and used one hand to cover his cock with lube and used the other to press two fingers into Junsu’s body.

Junsu clamped down around his fingers and urged Yoochun on with more moans and more whimpers. He yanked Yoochun down by his open shirt, covering his naked body. Their mouths collided together, and Junsu’s legs wrapped around Yoochun’s back, feet sliding up under his shirt. Yoochun followed the kiss sloppily. His hips jerked forward, his cock slid along Junsu’s, slick and heavy. He growled and forced himself to stop, hold himself down and thrust into Junsu, all the way, sinking into him, moans echoed around him. He thrust, fast and firm.

_Too soon. Too much. Too good. So good._

Everything twisted and warped. His head felt like it was going to burst, but it was a different body part that did, and Junsu whimpered and Yoochun kept going until he couldn’t, until even the touch of the air and the clothes stuck to his skin was too sensitive.

_Too much. Too soon._

Lips pressed against his cheek. Soft words tickled against his ear. The warm body underneath him shifted and Yoochun fell to the side, face plastered against the pillow before succumbing to sleep.

\---------

Yoochun woke up to bright sunlight against his face. He moaned and rolled to the side and right off the edge of the bed. He lay stunned on the ground for a little while, unsure as to why his clothes stuck to his body, uncomfortable twist in his arms. Right. He either passed out or fell asleep after ... after ... He sat up and glanced over at the bed.

Junsu was still asleep and Yoochun leaned his chin on the edge of the bed and smiled. He looked angelic, wearing clothes (so he must have gotten up sometime in the morning because Yoochun remembered taking his clothes off) and curled up with a blanket. The sun hit at the perfect angle. and Yoochun reached to cup his ass before stopping himself. He didn’t want to wake Junsu up.

He got up and went to the bathroom, stripping his come-covered clothes and decided a shower was a great idea. He wasn’t hung over, but his body ached in all the right ways from having sex.

He slipped on a pair of sweatpants after his shower and went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. It was brewing when arms wrapped around his waist and lips pressed against his bare shoulder.

“Morning,” Junsu mumbled.

Yoochun smiled and squeezed his arm. “Good morning.”

Junsu kissed the skin on his back, across his shoulders. He turned around and let himself be led back to the bed, coffee forgotten.

\---------

Halfway back to sleep, to rest before his shift at work, Yoochun smiled when Junsu climbed into bed, arms and legs caging Yoochun in. He lifted his hand and slid them down Junsu’s sides and then under the soft cotton shirt. Their lips met briefly.

“You want more?” Yoochun said in surprise at the feel of Junsu’s erection pressed against his body. They’d been fucking all day.

“Yes. God, yes.”

“Junsu, I--”

Junsu pulled away. “What now?”

“I feel like I’m using you.” Yoochun had spent most of the day thinking about it. At least he had during the time when Junsu wasn’t riding his cock.

“You are. God, I love it when you use me.” He slipped his hands into Yoochun’s sweatpants.

“I meant ... I’m ... it’s like you’re a rebound, to help me get over Jaejoong, and that isn’t fair to you at all.”

“With as desperate and eager as you are to fuck me, I’d say it’s pretty fair to me.”

“Su-ah, I’m serious,” he said and grabbed his wrists.

Junsu smiled. “I know. That’s your problem most of the time. Look, Yoochun. I’m using you, you’re using me.”

“You’re not using me.”

“Yes, I am. You think I know how to do this? You think I know how to have a relationship with someone? I don’t. You’re showing me how. You’re also showing me how to touch, come, play without being told, without being ordered. Sex with you is amazing, to me. It’s intense. It’s ... I can’t get enough of it. Therefore, I’m using you. We do like each other, you know. There isn’t anything wrong with what we’re doing.”

Yoochun sighed. “There really is.”

Junsu stared at him. He shrugged. “Okay. Fine.” He climbed off Yoochun and went to the couch. He turned on the TV and sat down with a huff. He found a soccer game. Yoochun huffed in frustration. He rubbed his erection through his pants and then followed. He sat down and Junsu slid over, keeping a few inches between them.

Usually, when something did not go Yoochun’s way, or he wanted to or had to deal with something, he went and got drunk instead. That wasn’t going to work. It worked when he was alone, dealing with his own feelings.

Okay, so it didn’t work, and it was a way for him to run away from his feelings, and then brood when he was sober and all of his problems were still there.

But it was tempting, but he could not deal with Junsu that way. Junsu wasn’t going anywhere unless Yoochun wanted to kick him out but that was not an option.

The last time he had gotten flat out drunk had been just a couple weeks ago. Because of Junsu. Which wasn’t fair to blame him.

Because he did not know how to deal with Junsu. That was definitely more accurate.

He reached over and ran his fingers up the outer seam of the sweatpants Junsu wore. He flinched but did nothing else. Yoochun twisted to his side, arm on the back of the couch. He moved his finger to Junsu’s skin, just below his ear. It was a little calculated because Junsu loved being touched. He ran his hand through Junsu’s hair, smiling as Junsu arched into it.

“You’re right, of course, you’re right,” Yoochun said.

Junsu grunted. “Now you just want into my pants.”

Yoochun smiled. “Maybe just in your mouth.”

Junsu rolled his eyes. He picked up one of the books on the floor and said, “Practice.” He scooted over into Yoochun’s body and they shifted until Junsu was curled up against him, book in his lap. Yoochun’s hands slid over his skin as Junsu read, and he whispered pronunciation corrections. Junsu paused every now and then to watch the soccer game, reading the words on the screen.

“I remember doing this when I was younger,” Junsu suddenly said. “I remember reading with my mom and my brother.”

Yoochun held his breath. Junsu had never talked of his family before.

“I wonder what happened to them.”

“I’m sure we could find them,” Yoochun replied.

Junsu shook his head and closed his book. “Maybe ... maybe later. I ... they sold me, remember? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see my mother again, or look at her with anything but contempt. A mother does not deserve to have her son look at her that way.”

Junsu curled against him, burying his face in Yoochun’s neck.

Yoochun thought of his own mother and understood exactly what he meant. Even if his mother apologized for ostracizing him from the family, Yoochun knew it would take time to forgive her, forgive them. He’d been tossed aside like he was nothing by more than just Jaejoong. At least Jaejoong had been so heartbroken about breaking Yoochun’s spirit that he had cried when they had broken up and Yoochun had moved out. His mother had tossed him from the house with nothing short of disgust and disdain.

Maybe he would visit his brother in the army. Yoohwan had at least attempted to contact him when he could.

“Well, we do need to find out what your ID number is and if we can get you an updated ID card,” Yoochun said. “We’ll at least know something about your family during that process.”

“I’m not sure I want to do all that yet.”

“Well, you’ll need an ID to get a job.”

“Do I really need a job?”

Yoochun smiled at him. “Yes. You don’t want to live in this little hovel forever, do you?”

Junsu turned around, tossing the book to the floor, and straddled his lap, fingers running through his long hair. “As if this little hovel has anything to do with why I stay.”

Which took them back to what Yoochun had been thinking about all day. But as they kissed and shifted and Junsu’s clothes slid off, Yoochun figured that they could talk about it another time.

\---------

Yunho was just another lawyer in a family of lawyers, and he promised that his son would never be a lawyer unless of course he wanted to be one. Yunho had wanted to dance. He had wanted to sing. He wanted to be a trainee and an idol. Instead, he protected them from entertainment companies to the best of his ability. It was difficult when young kids intent on being an idol signed a fifteen-year contract before they were even fifteen.

But because of his experience, he was able to get Junsu an ID, and even better, Yunho fabricated Junsu’s military service. It was something that could make him lose his right to practice law, but after a blowjob with Yoochun under the table and Junsu whispering sexy things into his ear, he was more willing.

“You know what he would be good at,” Hyunjoong said as he and Yoochun watched Junsu smile widely and show off his brand new ID to the customers. His hair was black now, styled and cut in a way that showed off his pretty face and the curve of his jaw. He looked a little older without the pink hair. He was wearing Yoochun black jeans again, the ones that were too tight, but showed off his thighs and ass so wonderful. The brown shirt with its black accents just made everything about Junsu seem older than just a few week ago.

“Sucking cock.”

“Huh?” Yoochun said and flipped around to face him.

“Just seeing if you were paying attention. I’m sure Junsu is great at sucking cock.”

“Fuck off.”

“He should be a host.”

“What?”

“Hosting.”

“Like at a host club?”

“Yeah. He’d be great at it. Think about it. It’s what he does when he comes here with you, at least at a proper club he’d get money for it.”

“No way.”

Hyunjoong smirked. “And, if he works at a host club, his clients will be women.”

Yoochun scowled and glanced at the table just in time to see a man lean over the table and touch his neck with fingertips.

Hyunjoong laughed. “It’s almost perfect. Really. I know a guy. I’ll ask him.”

“You should ask Junsu first.”

Hyunjoong flung his towel over his shoulder and said, “Good idea,” and sauntered toward Junsu’s table. He ignored Yoochun calling his name.

Yoochun watched as Junsu’s eyes widened at Hyunjoong’s suggestions, and smiled as the men grumbled in disappointment and tried to convince him with pretty words and touches to stay there and let them pay him. Junsu laughed with them, accepted a few kisses before Hyunjoong returned his attention with firm fingers gripped on his chin.

Junsu winced, the moment so brief before his smile was back. Concerned, Yoochun frowned, but Hyunjoong only held his chin long enough to press a light kiss to his lips and Yoochun’s scowl returned.

A host club. Not seeing all these men groping Junsu for attention.

The idea seemed better and better.

\---------

“Are you okay?” Yoochun asked as he and Junsu walked home, hand in hand. They passed a bottle of soju between them as they walked.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re awfully quiet,” Yoochun said. “Usually on the way home, you’re talking my ear off about what every man in there said and did.”

“It’s ... it’s nothing.”

“Is it because of when Hyunjoong gripped your chin?”

“You saw that?”

“Yeah.”

Junsu sighed.

“My uncle do that to you?”

“Usually followed by a slap or ... sometimes words are more painful.”

“Yeah.” Yoochun tugged his arm and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I’m pretty sure you’ve learned just how fucking sexy you are.”

Junsu laughed before taking another drink from the bottle. “Either that or everyone is horny.”

“You make them horny.”

“Should I make women horny?”

Yoochun smiled. “You’ll be good at it.”

“And as Hyunjoong said, it will keep you from being a possessive, jealous boyfriend.”

Yoochun stopped them and held Junsu by his shoulders. “Am I?”

“Possessive and jealous? Yes.”

Yoochun rolled his eyes. “Not that. You’re boyfriend. Am I?”

“Isn’t that up to you? Didn’t we already have this conversation? And I told you before, ask me. I won’t say no.”

Yoochun let him go. Junsu smiled, took a swig from the bottle and sauntered away from him. Sauntered in a slightly wavy line. He put his arm around Junsu’s shoulders again to steady him and reached for the bottle.

“I say we save the rest of it and drink it off each other’s stomachs when we get home.”

Yoochun laughed. “Yeah, sure.”

\---------

 _You’re an idiot_ , Hyunjoong’s voice said in his head again. _An utter idiot. How can you be fucking him, living with him, going out every day with him, and not consider him your boyfriend?_

Yoochun sat up against the wall, legs crossed. Junsu slept with his head in Yoochun’s lap. The lights from the city bathed his skin in shades of pink and yellow. He smiled and ran his finger down Junsu’s neck, over the hicky he had sucked there earlier when he’d had three fingers inside Junsu’s body, and Junsu was coming without his cock being touched.

Junsu was amazing at his new job, and Yoochun wasn’t really surprised. The older ladies loved him, the younger ladies loved, everyone loved him, even his co-workers. He’d only been a host for a week, but he already had a steady amount of requests and clients that only wanted to talk to him. Even if there was a little bit of touching involved, it was usually enough to rile him up and come home to ride Yoochun’s cock until he collapsed.

Junsu squirmed a little in his sleep.

Yoochun had the hardest time not touching when Junsu looked so perfect. Junsu always looked so perfect.

“You keep touching me and I’m going to bite off your dick.”

Yoochun chuckled. “You like my dick.”

Junsu lifted his head, eyes narrowed in a glare. “It isn’t the only thing or even the most important thing I like about you.”

And Junsu kept saying things like that. Telling Yoochun he liked him a lot.

_You’re an idiot._

“I’m an idiot,” Yoochun whispered.

Junsu smiled and then broke off to yawn. He pushed himself up, muscles in his arms straining a bit before he was in Yoochun’s lap and lips pressed against his. They hadn’t cleaned up yet from their sexual activities and Junsu’s cleft was still sticky slick with come and lube. Yoochun moaned into his mouth and ran his hands down Junsu’s back to cup his plump ass.

Junsu sighed and reached behind himself, shifting until he could slide Yoochun back into his body.

Yoochun moaned at the grip around his cock, and Junsu sat, not moving but kissing Yoochun breathless.

“I still think this is stupid,” Yoochun gasped when Junsu finally moved.

Junsu hummed. “You still think you can get hurt again.”

“I still think we should be friends.”

“Last time I checked, we are friends.”

“I still think you need to know ...”

Junsu kissed him. “I do know, Chunnie-ah. I know that I like you. I know that you’re nice to me. I know that you fuck like a sex god. I know that you like your coffee black. I know that you wish you had time to write music. I know you hate your job. I know you miss your family. I know you want to go back to school. I know your dick feels perfect fucking into me as fast as your hips can move.”

Yoochun smiled and his chest clenched.

“And I know that you do every single thing with so much emotion that it can’t be anything but the most important thing to you. And I want to be the most important thing to you.”

Yoochun nodded. “You are. You are. Before ... before nothing just ... nothing was important to me but drinking and random sex. I ... god, Junsu.”

Junsu smirked and rolled his hips again. “Be my boyfriend,” he demanded.

Yoochun smiled. “Pretty sure I already am.”

“Good,” Junsu growled and demanded absolute, complete, and utter satisfaction.


	10. Epilogue: Love

Junsu felt a bit uncomfortable. Only a little. It wasn’t because of his appearance though. He wore a simple button-down, with a few buttons loose to show of the artwork at his neck. One of his clients really wanted to see what he’d look like with a colorful tattoo, and Junsu refrained from mentioning the one of his thigh (the one that only had words if you knew how to find them amongst the flowers and stars that had been tattooed over it). He’d also put in some temporary hair chalk, turning his black hair red in some places.

Kibum came up behind him, crouching down to look at Junsu’s reflection in the mirror.

“You look amazing,” he said. “Why so glum?”

“Just nervous.”

He chuckled, and Minho downright laughed. “You nervous? Why?”

“My ... friend ... is going to be here tonight.”

Minho rolled his eyes and cuffed the back of Junsu’s head on the way to his own vanity. “Just say it’s your boyfriend. It’s not like you don’t talk about him enough that we don’t already know.”

“Just relax,” Kibum added. “The women love you, and they love a good homo-romance. Don’t they, baby?”

He sidled up to Minho, who again rolled his eyes as he shoved Kibum’s face away. “Save it for the ladies. And I swear, your lips touch my skin again and I’m going to punch you.”

“After you get more tips.”

Minho smirked. “Yes.”

Junsu laughed, feeling much better. The other two hosts usually did that for him. He went back to his makeup.

He really did like the job, and even the boss had called him a natural. Of course, he did not tell anyone that he was a natural because he spent most of his life learning how to please people and do and say the right things, but he did not want to do that for the rest of his life.

He wanted to go back to school, get his degree, maybe go to college. Yoochun constantly told him how smart he was. But he had no idea what he wanted to do. Then again, neither did Yoochun beyond going back to school.

“You ready to go dance?” Kibum asked.

Junsu nodded and looked away from his reflection. “Where’s Taemin?”

“Probably in the boss’ office,” Minho said and made blow job motions with his tongue in his cheek and his hand.

“Someone is jealous,” Kibum sang.

Minho punched his shoulder. “I’m straight.”

“You know, my cock remembers--”

“That was one time and I was drunk!”

Kibum smirked. “And yet, I still managed to get you off.”

“Fuck you.”

Junsu tuned out their banter and headed out to the floor.

Junsu had a schedule of clients every night, his regulars that reserved his time. He usually had one hour appointments, but some of the ladies were willing to pay Jinki’s astronomical prices for two or three hours. The night usually flew by for him because he loved talking. He loved learning about the women and their jobs. He had learned a lot about real life just listening to these women.

The hair and the tattoos were a pretty big hit. His regulars loved them and even more girls asked for a single dance, a single drink, a single smile from him. There were also many new women. Jinki had given Junsu a raise only last week because of how many clients he was bringing into the club. He did not even mind when Jinki asked him to work an extra night, five instead of four.

But none of the ladies mattered when Yoochun walked in.

Junsu noticed him right away, smiling widely and apologizing to the lady who was talking as he stood up. He walked to Yoochun, who had yet to see him, looking around, and he felt like he was floating. And only partially because Yoochun looked like a host himself, dressed in the tan suit that Junsu had bought him the week before with his long hair loose around his face.

Junsu was ready to eat him up, get on his knees, right there in the middle of the club.

God, he had a sexy boyfriend.

And a sweet boyfriend, and a nice boyfriend, and a caring boyfriend.

He was pretty damn sure he loved Yoochun, if this ache and need and happiness that filled his life is what was considered love. He also was pretty sure that Yoochun loved him back, but he also knew that Yoochun wasn’t ready to say it. He wasn’t ready to admit to it again, not after Jaejoong, not after only a few months of getting his life back.

Junsu sometimes still waited to wake up. Still waited for everything to change. Still waited for life to disappear. This life anyway. It had only been six months, but the bit of fear instilled into him by Yoochun’s uncle had not quite left yet. It was easier. Especially when he was with Yoochun.

He understood Yoochun’s tendency to wait for everything to disappear. He definitely understood that.

Yoochun spotted him and smiled widely. Junsu fought the urge to kiss him and instead just hugged him.

“Hi, god you’re sexy, want to rip off your clothes,” Junsu said into his ear.

Yoochun laughed. “You’ll have to wait until you visit me at my work.”

Junsu pulled away with a wide smile and then remembered he’d left a client and he grabbed Yoochun’s arm and pulled him through the throngs of hosts and clients dancing back to the table. They sat down and Yoochun bowed at the two ladies there and smiled at them, and Junsu ordered them all more drinks.

It was difficult as they talked to keep his hands off Yoochun, especially his shoulders, and his arms. God, they had been having push up competitions and Yoochun’s arms were filling out and his chest, and stomach, and Junsu cleared his throat.

“What were you just thinking about?” Yuri asked as she sucked on the straw from her drink.

Junsu swallowed a small sip of water and glanced over at Yoochun. “Oh, you know, the usual.”

“Probably something about having sex on a table,” Yoochun said with a firm nod.

Junsu choked on his water and the ladies laughed.

“Well?” Seohyun asked. “Is he right?”

Junsu smirked and licked his lips, preening at the deep groan from Yoochun. “Yes. My boyfriend knows me best.”


End file.
